Consume Me Like A Fire
by ATruthSoLoud
Summary: Blaine always gets what he wants – and he wants Kurt. Kurt agrees to give himself to Blaine in exchange for his father receiving the medical treatment he needs. In Blaine's eyes, they're boyfriends, but Kurt sees himself as a sex slave. Mob!Blaine AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Consume Me Like a Fire

**Pairing**: Kurt/Blaine

**Rating**: M

**Summary:** Blaine always gets what he wants – and he wants Kurt. Kurt agrees to give himself to Blaine in exchange for his father receiving the medical treatment he needs. In Blaine's eyes, they're boyfriends, but Kurt sees himself as a sex slave. Mob!Blaine AU.

**Warnings:** dark!Blaine, dub-con that some would consider non-con, manipulation, emotional abuse, oblivious!Blaine, vague and probably inaccurate portrayal of an actual mob boss, overuse of commas, unbeta'd

**A/N:** Originally posted on the GKM. If you're reading this story because you enjoyed "I Know Not Why" – please, please, please heed the warnings. This is a very different story.

Title is from NEEDTOBREATHE's song "Something Beautiful"

...

"_**This American system of ours ... call it Americanism, call it capitalism, call it what you like, gives to each and every one of us a great opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it**__**." – Al Capone**_

For the first fourteen years of Blaine's life, he was practically invisible to his father. He lived in the shadow of his older brother Cooper who seemed to be everything his father wanted – and everything Blaine was not. It took a beating from his homophobic classmates that put him in the hospital for almost a week to get his father to finally notice him.

He begged to be allowed to transfer schools, but was quickly silenced by his father. No, the Andersons don't take the easy way out. They get tough; they get even. His father told him to start coming to his office every day after school when he was better. Blaine didn't see him again until he was discharged four days later.

When Blaine returned to school, he had expected the whispers and stares. He hadn't expected to find out that the three boys that jumped him were now in the hospital themselves. Some said the timing was coincidental, some said it was karma, a few quietly whispered that Blaine had someone get retaliation for him. His father's words echoed in his head. _They get even._

Blaine found out quickly that things with his father hadn't changed nearly as dramatically as he'd hoped. When he got to the office that first afternoon, he was waved off, told to go find some guy named Wes in the gym.

The guy was a little bit older, a little bit bigger. Blaine realized when he saw the boxing gloves that more of his father's words were coming into play. _They get tough._

Blaine trained five days a week with Wes, not only building his muscles, but also building his confidence.

That boost got Blaine to start paying attention more around his father's office. He'd always been told his father was in finance, but the people that came through on a daily basis looked rough, scarred, and dangerous.

Blaine was fifteen when his entire world changed. He'd stayed late after boxing to catch up on his studies and hopefully get a ride home with his father. It was dark out when he made his way to his father's office. The door was cracked enough for him to hear an argument between his father and someone else. The guy started begging and then everything got quiet except the sound of someone struggling.

Blaine pushed the door open to see a man face down on the floor with a bag over his head and a handful of other men scattered around the room. His father glared at him and clenched his fists.

For some reason, Blaine wasn't scared. He took a few steps toward the dead man and then looked back up to his father.

"What'd he do?" Blaine asked in a surprisingly even tone.

His father's glare turned into a mix of suspicion and curiosity. "He took something that wasn't his."

Blaine seemed to weigh his father's words in his head before responding. "So you had to get even?"

"Yah. You have to punish those that do wrong by you."

Blaine just nodded slightly and kept his father's gaze. Eventually, his father chuckled and shook his head. "Jimmy, get that piece of shit out of here. Blaine, come here."

Without trying or even knowing he was doing it, Blaine had proven himself to his father that night.

He spent the next three years learning everything his father could teach him. He learned that while Cooper was charismatic and charming, he didn't have the brains to run the business like it needed to be run. Given the chance, he would no doubt make a wrong connection or a bad deal and screw up everything his father had worked for. For those three years, Blaine was being groomed. He was intrigued and grateful and connected to his father for the first time in his life. One day, everything his father had built would be left in his responsibility.

That day came just after his eighteenth birthday when both of his parents died. They weren't gunned down; it wasn't a bad deal his dad made. It was a drunk driver that came out of nowhere.

Before his father's body was even in the ground, Blaine had a group of guys calling him boss.

...

When he gets the news that his aunt is in the hospital, not doing well, and asking for him, he feels obligated to go see her. The voice of his mother echoing through his head.

He gets Wes to go with him, the rest of the guys left to their own devices for the remainder of the day. Blaine doesn't need protection really – not a lot of people know who he is. He stays in the background, works the numbers, keeps things moving. Cooper is the one that puts his neck out willingly to flash a smile and shake the appropriate hands. They double up on Cooper's security because he's more visible, but also because he's a bit of an idiot. He never takes anything serious. It's like being the head of this family is an acting job for him.

Blaine's okay with being the brains behind the scenes though. He never liked to put himself out there, never wanted to feel vulnerable. Wes is one of the few people he's let in though, probably because he's the person that helped toughen Blaine up. They don't have to talk a lot, a quiet understanding between them. Wes can read him well and, more often than not, steers him in the right direction.

"Let's make this quick. I want to make sure her medical bills are paid for. My cousins don't have the money and my mother would roll over in her grave if I didn't do something."

Wes just nods and follows him into the hospital.

The visit with his aunt is brief. She looks at him with a glazed look, calls him Blainey, and thinks he's 12. Blaine hands his cousin some money as they talk briefly in the hallway, anxious to get away from the decrepit hospital.

Blaine's attention is drawn down the hall to a doctor and a young man speaking in hushed, but harsh tones.

"—has to be something else you can do for my father."

"He's in a coma, Mr. Hummel. All we can do is wait."

"It's been over a week! You just let him lie there. We're lucky if the nurses check on him twice a day."

The doctor turns and waves the boy off dismissively. "I have other patients I need to see."

"Seriously?" The boy throws his hands up in frustration, skulks over to the wall, and slides down.

Wes nudges Blaine, pulling his attention back. Blaine has a dozen thoughts going through his head and Wes undoubtedly has an idea of what they were.

"I'll meet you down at the car."

Wes regards him for a moment and then turns to leave without a word.

A few minutes later, Blaine approaches the boy who remains on the floor, arms folded over his knees, and head bowed.

"It's questionable, but you look like you need this."

The boy lifts his head and looks confused until he sees the styrofoam cup of coffee being held out to him. "Questionable?"

"The coffee. It came out of a machine that looks like it's past its retirement date." The boy slowly lifts his hand to take the coffee, the confused look still present. "It's just coffee."

"Sorry, I'm… I've got a lot on my mind. Thank you."

"Blaine Anderson."

"Kurt. Kurt Hummel."

"Well, Kurt, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with the doctor. I think I can help."

The confused look morphs into one of suspicion. "And how's that?"

"Why don't we go sit in the waiting room? I'm starting to get a crick in my neck looking down at you."

Kurt stands up slowly and walks down the hallway to the waiting room. They sit across from one another, Blaine looking completely comfortable and Kurt completely on guard.

"You said you could help?"

"Your father… he's sick?"

"Second heart attack. He's in a coma."

"Sorry to hear that."

"Your sympathy doesn't help me."

"This place – it's a shithole. He'll never get what he needs here."

"I can't afford any place else. I'll be lucky if his medical bills here don't drain me."

"What if I told you I could get your father transferred? Get him in a private facility with top-notch care? It would just take a phone call."

Kurt shakes his head and laughs. "I'm sorry, who are you again?"

"Blaine Anderson."

"And you like to approach strangers and offer assistance."

"I do what I can."

"You met me five minutes ago and you want to help when I have no possible way to pay you back."

He leans forward and stares Kurt straight in the eye. "I wouldn't say that."

Kurt's body goes rigid and the suspicious look returns. "So with what means do you anticipate I would pay you back?"

Blaine's eyes wander casually over Kurt's body. "With legs like those, I'm sure you could think of a couple ways to pay a debt."

Kurt guffaws and stands from his chair, practically knocking it over. "Wow. This is a new one for me. Trying to take advantage of someone that's desperately hoping that his father will wake up, promising things there's no way you could afford… all to get a piece of ass. It's bold. It's also pathetic."

Kurt gets halfway to the door before the other man stops him. "Kurt."

The way he says his name sounds like barely controlled anger.

"First of all, if I just wanted a piece of ass, I've got more than enough options available to me. Second, I can assure you that I have the funds to help your father. I'm in the… finance business. So you need to decide if you can put your pride aside to help him."

Blaine slips a card into the pocket of Kurt's jacket. "If you want your father to get the care that he needs, you'll call that number."

The mix of earnestness and cockiness in Blaine's eyes has Kurt transfixed. Neither say a word as they exit the waiting room and walk in opposite directions.

...

He'd studied the card for three days, googled 'Blaine Anderson' and his company. It appeared to be your average financial consulting firm. _So maybe this guy really did have the funds to back up his promises. _But Kurt weighed the other side of the deal and cringed at what he would be sacrificing for his father's care. Things had gone from bad to worse to damn near hopeless. Kurt was desperate.

Which led him to a small coffee shop a few blocks over from the hospital. He hadn't even talked to Blaine on the phone. His secretary knew who Kurt was immediately and advised him where and when to meet Blaine.

As with their previous encounter, Blaine walks in with complete confidence, eyeing Kurt immediately and sitting across from him.

"I knew you'd call, but I don't normally like to be kept waiting."

"Well, it's not every day that I get propositioned. I had to think some things through. And I need to ask you some questions."

"Ask away."

"What is your job?"

"I told you – finance."

"Could you be more vague?"

"You shouldn't care what I do. You should focus on doing what's best for your father." Kurt can feel the hair on the back of his neck bristle at Blaine's words.

"Where would you send him?"

"Rosemont. He would get personalized care, have his own nurse, and be monitored by some of the best doctors in the state."

"And what would you want from me in return?"

"It's simple. You give me what I want. All you have to do is keep me happy."

"So... _sex_?" He blushes before the whispered word is even out.

Blaine looks amused. "Yes, Kurt. Sex. And if you blush just saying it, I can't wait to get you out of those layers."

Kurt feels scandalized. He worries that everyone in the building can hear their conversation, but the quiet roar of the morning rush gives them privacy. "How do I know you'll even do what you say?"

"You don't."

"So, what – we just _do it_ and you move my father to Rosemont?"

"My god. You are fucking adorable."

For some reason, this makes Kurt angry. He's flustered, embarrassed, and fighting an internal battle for what to do. Blaine keeps his level gaze.

"I'm not going to bend you over the table, Kurt. This isn't just a thing that we do and get out of the way. You need me and I want you."

"I don't need you."

"Oh yah?" Blaine raises an eyebrow. "Tell me – how much of your father's medical bills did your tuition refund cover when you dropped out of school. Senior year, too. Tsk tsk."

"Wait, how did—"

"And how's your father's shop doing? Seems like things are slacking with the big man not there to keep things in order. Business is already starting to suffer and it's only been a couple weeks. And as hard as you try, you're not quite up to taking over for him."

"Did you spy on me?"

"I make sure to thoroughly research my prospective investments."

Kurt just stares, a hint of fear in his eyes.

"Ready to admit you need me?" Blaine has the gall to wink at him.

"So… if I say yes… what does that mean?"

"It means you come with me. You hold up your end of this deal."

"For how long?"

Blaine shrugs nonchalantly. "Let's say three months. Or however long your dad needs the intensive care, whichever is longer."

"And I would have to do whatever you want?"

"Don't make it sound like a punishment. But yes, you do what I want, when I want, where I want, and how I want. As long as I get what I want, your father is taken care of."

Kurt knows he can't do this on his own and all he wants is for his father to get better. The guilt he carries with him will eventually overwhelm him if he doesn't do everything in his power to take care of his father.

"Ok." It's barely a whisper.

"What was that?"

"I said ok."

Kurt's never seen someone look so predatory. "Alright, let's go."

"No."

Blaine is already up and out of his seat, but eyes Kurt curiously. "You just agreed to the deal, so let's go."

"You get my father transferred first. When he's settled, I'll go with you."

A sly smile crosses his face. "Negotiation. I like that." He reaches out to touch Kurt's cheek, but the boy pulls away, looking up with sad eyes. "It'll be done tomorrow. Pack a bag of only what you need and I'll send a car for you tomorrow night."

"Pack a bag?"

"You're coming to stay with me. When I said I wanted you, I meant all the time."

"I can't just leave my home!"

"Kurt, you live in your father's house and he's not there. Be ready tomorrow night."

Blaine leaves Kurt sitting there stunned. Apparently that was the end of negotiations.

...


	2. Chapter 2

**_"Everybody has a price." - Jimmy Hoffa_**

Part of Kurt thought that Blaine spun a good story, played a good part, but that he wouldn't actually come through in helping his father.

That thought is quelled when he arrives in his father's room the next morning to find his few belongings packed into a box and a nurse waiting for him to sign the transfer papers.

As he follows the ambulance transport onto the lush grounds of Rosemont Hospital, he can't help but be grateful. The difference is night and day compared to the county hospital. His father gets settled into his private room, immediately being checked over by a team of nurses. Once he's hooked up to the appropriate monitors and deemed stable, his father's assigned nurse – Gail – introduces herself to Kurt and gives him a brief tour of the facilities. He meets the two main doctors that will be monitoring his father's progress, both of whom have very positive prognoses. In less than an hour, Kurt has been given more information about his father's care and treatment than his previous doctor had relayed in a week. Kurt sits at his father's bedside, his eyes full of tears, and his heart full of hope.

The afternoon sun feels warm on his back as it filters through the window. Kurt isn't sure where the hours have gone, but he knows he should head home before it gets any later.

"Dad, I have to go for today. You're in really good hands and I'm going to be back very soon."

Kurt worries for a moment at the lack of details he has in regards to his "stay" with Blaine. Would he be allowed to visit his father? Surely Blaine knew how important that was.

Kurt shakes the thought off and squeezes his dad's hand. "If I don't come back tomorrow, I'll at least call and maybe the nurse can put the phone to your ear. Things are going to be so much better here. I'm not ready to lose you." Kurt's voice cracks, but he clears his throat and continues. "So you have to get better. I know when you wake up you'll have so many questions, but I don't care as long as you just _wake up_."

He wipes his eyes and kisses his dad on the forehead. It's hard walking away not knowing what the future holds.

...

The car pulls up around nine and at first Kurt thinks he imagines it having stared out the window for so long. The driver doesn't speak a single word from the time he loads Kurt's suitcase until he opens the car door for Kurt when they arrive at Blaine's. Kurt follows as they make their way up the elevator and into a very posh apartment. He would think it beautiful if he were visiting under different circumstances.

Blaine's on the phone in the living room, but cuts the call short when he sees Kurt. The driver walks down the hallway with Kurt's bag, depositing it no doubt in the bedroom, and then strides out of the apartment. Kurt can only maintain eye contact with Blaine for a second before he drops his eyes to the floor, ashamed and afraid and more uncertain than he's ever been in his life.

"Hello, Kurt."

Kurt's gaze flicks up momentarily and then falls to where his hands fidget with the hem of his shirt.

"Why don't you come sit down so we can chat?"

Kurt nods and sits at one end of the leather sofa. Blaine leaves just enough space between them so Kurt isn't completely uncomfortable, but then Blaine's hand comes to rest on the back of his neck and he jerks away. He cringes and moves back to his original position, Blaine's hand now resting on the back of the couch.

"Sorry. I'm- sorry."

"Jumpy one, aren't you?"

"It's just been a long day and now- being here. I don't know how to do this."

"Let's talk about the rules."

Kurt turns to face Blaine. "Rules?"

A small smile plays on his face. "Yes, Kurt. Rules." His hand casually moves back to Kurt's neck, fingers rubbing circles at the nape. "First, you're free to go anywhere in this apartment that you wish except for the two rooms at the end of the hall. I expect you to make yourself at home. Second, you are not to leave the apartment unless you are with me or someone I have instructed you to go with. Third—"

"Wait, I have a question about that."

Blaine looks annoyed at being interrupted, but waits for Kurt to continue.

"I visit my father every day. Will you still allow me to do that?"

"You'll be allowed to see your father when I'm working and can't spend time with you, but that may not be every day. Since you don't have a car here, I will arrange for one of the guys to drive you. Third, you are not to contact anyone without my expressed permission." Kurt wants to interrupt, but stays silent with a pointed look from Blaine. "I know you have few friends, Kurt, and it's none of their business where you are or why you're here. Fourth, you are to be available to me at all times. We will go out frequently and I think you'll be quite happy with your stay here."

Kurt frowns at that. Blaine makes it sound like this is a vacation. He may not be chained in the basement, but he's still a prisoner here.

The fingers at his neck pull at him gently and he realizes Blaine is much closer now. Kurt turns his head away just as Blaine moves to kiss him. His frustrated sigh seems to echo throughout the room. Kurt turns his body towards Blaine and reaches for his hand, hoping to keep his attention, but also keep the small distance between them.

"I'm sorry. I'll do whatever you want while I'm here, I promise. I just—" Tears begin to form and he takes a deep breath and blinks them away before looking into Blaine's eyes again. His face looks completely open, curiosity tinged around the edges at what Kurt is going to say. "I'm not _experienced_. I'll give you whatever you want, I just need it to not start tonight okay?"

Kurt knows he's blushing, his hand sweating where it holds the other boy's, but there is no anger on Blaine's face. He looks almost happy.

"Are you a virgin?"

The blush deepens. "No, I've done _stuff_ before and I-I mean, it's not like I've never been with anyone or whatever."

"Tell me what you've done."

Kurt lets out a small noise of protest, but Blaine keeps that same happy smile on his face. This is a game to him.

"It doesn't matter."

"Tell me." That tone. Blaine is hardly an intimidating man in his size, but the way he speaks sends a shiver down Kurt's spine.

"I got a blowjob from a guy at a party last year. And we had sex one other time, but I was too drunk to really remember a lot about either incident."

"Incident? Wow, sounds like a crime. So did you do the fucking or did he?"

Kurt has never talked so casually about sex before. "What?"

Blaine leans forward. "Did you stick your dick in his ass or did he stick his in yours?"

"Oh, uh, I did—um—to him."

"So nobody's ever fucked you?"

Kurt closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"Do you finger yourself?"

Kurt opens his eyes and tries to pull his hand away, but Blaine only tightens his grip. He holds Kurt's wrist with one of his hands and traces along his fingers with the other. "When you're trying to get off, do you finger yourself?"

He can't even look in Blaine's direction, but he nods nonetheless.

Blaine lets out a soft moan. "I bet that's a sight." He releases Kurt's hand, but doesn't otherwise move. "I guess it's a good thing I have enough experience for the both of us."

Blaine stands up and extends his hand to Kurt.

"You'll sleep with me in the bedroom we'll share, but I won't make you do anything tonight. I've got plans to take you out tomorrow night, so that should be more than enough time to get settled in."

Kurt tries to keep the look of relief off his face. He mutters a quiet 'thank you' and allows Blaine to guide him by his hand through a tour of the apartment. Blaine leaves Kurt to unpack while he goes into one of the two 'forbidden' rooms in the back. Kurt rushes through his skincare routine and climbs into bed. He lies there for more than an hour, hugging the edge of the bed, unable to fall asleep. Blaine comes in after midnight, and true to his word, doesn't so much as touch Kurt.

Kurt still gets very little sleep that night and finds the other side of the bed empty when he wakes just after sunrise.

...

Blaine hadn't left a note or a number of where to reach him. Kurt spends the morning familiarizing himself with the apartment. The fridge is fully stocked, but the kitchen looks like it's never used. Everything is immaculate, none of the furniture worn-in. Kurt eyes the piano in the formal living room and makes a mental note to ask Blaine if he plays. It looks untouched, so it isn't likely.

Kurt knows he isn't supposed to leave the apartment. It's one of the 'rules' that Blaine had informed him of the night before. But all he can think about is his father. He opens the front door and peers down the hall finding it just as empty as the apartment. He rushes to the elevator, mashing the 'close door' button repeatedly. Kurt's walking through the lobby of the building when his cell phone rings. His first thought is that something has happened with his father, his thoughts warring between hope and grief.

"Hello?"

"Go back up to the apartment, Kurt."

Kurt nearly drops the phone. "Blaine? How did you—"

"I don't have time for this, Kurt. Get back up there now. And be ready to go out at 7."

"I want to see my father."

The line is quiet save for the few deep breaths Blaine takes. "Don't push me, Kurt. Go upstairs and call the hospital. There's no change. You can see him tomorrow."

"But I—"

"_Now_, Kurt."

And then the call ends. Kurt is fuming. He can see the passing cars outside and thinks briefly about continuing with his plan. But Blaine is the one who got his father moved to Rosemont and Kurt knows he could just as easily be transferred out.

He turns and walks back to the elevator, seething all the way up. A tall man in a suit now stands outside Blaine's front door.

"Great. Just what I need."

The man opens the door for Kurt and then quietly closes it behind him, not saying a word.

Kurt calls Rosemont and is informed that nothing has changed, just as Blaine had said. It doesn't stop him from wanting to see his father, but he can let it go for one day.

...

Blaine arrives promptly that evening, flowers in hand and a smile on his face.

Kurt is ready for dinner as instructed, but he's been waiting all day, ready to fight.

"You left me here alone all day, no idea where you were. You had someone spy on me and you won't let me go see my father!"

Blaine just sighs and sets the flowers on the counter.

"Stop acting like a petulant child. I'm going to change for dinner and then we'll be going."

"I am neither a child nor an animal. Do not command me to do things."

Blaine turns to look at him fully, an appraising look in his eyes. "I will _command_ you to do whatever I feel like since you have agreed to be here. Have you so quickly forgotten? I hear your father remained stable today and the doctors and nurses continue to monitor him very closely. I would think the quality of his care would be your number one concern." His voice remains even, no sign of the irritation from earlier. "I had to deal with something _unexpected_ this morning which unfortunately prevented me from informing Thad to take you to see your father. You can go see him tomorrow unless you decide you would like to end our agreement now. I won't continue to argue with you."

Kurt stares, eyes narrowed, but keeps his mouth shut.

"Alright then. I am going to change for dinner and I expect you to have a more pleasant attitude when I return."

Kurt wants to push it further, but he wonders how his actions will affect his father. He can put on a fake smile and act amiable if he has to.

They don't speak in the elevator or the short car ride to their destination. It isn't until Kurt steps out of the car that he looks to Blaine. "You're taking me to the theater?"

"You like it, right?"

"Yes. I just thought—" He shakes his head. "I don't know what I thought."

They settle into a comfortable silence as they make their way to the private box seats. Kurt sits forward on the edge of his chair as soon as the lights go down.

When the show ends, Blaine grabs Kurt's hand, thankfully receiving no snarky comment or resistance. They walk several blocks over to a small Italian restaurant, the silence following them.

Kurt doesn't want to be the first to speak. There is still a spark of anger lingering within him, but it's waned significantly.

"You look beautiful when you're watching them sing. It's like you feel the emotion in each word."

Kurt looks up, startled at both the sound and the actual words spoken.

"It's a heartbreaking story."

"Who's your favorite?"

"Enjolras, obviously. Who doesn't love a hero?" Kurt can't help but smile and it only grows as he looks across at Blaine with a similar expression across his face. "What about you?"

"Javert all the way. I love a good antagonist."

"You would." Kurt looks up hesitantly thinking he may have said the wrong thing. He's met with a grin and a nod, so he lets himself relax again.

Conversation over dinner is easy – easier than Kurt had expected. If they had met in a coffee shop or on campus, Kurt could see them being friends. But the circumstances that brought them to be here in this moment will always keep Kurt slightly on edge.

When they finally got back to the apartment, Blaine holds the door open for Kurt, but then quickly pulls him close in the entryway.

Kurt stands stock still as Blaine leans forward to kiss him, a firm press of their lips together. He's shocked into kissing back as Blaine licks along his bottom lip and opens him up. Blaine's hands hold his face, gently maneuvering him to deepen the kiss. As Blaine presses him up against the closed door, Kurt breaks away with a small yelp.

Blaine's hands continue to hold him, his eyes searching for something in Kurt's. And then with another small, chaste kiss, Blaine pulls away.

"I'm sor—"

"Look, I'm really exhausted. I need to get some sleep."

Without waiting for a response, Blaine walks to the bedroom. Kurt leans against the door, silently cursing himself and also confused why Blaine hadn't pushed him. He'd made it abundantly clear why Kurt was here—couldn't he just take what he wanted?

Kurt makes his way to the bedroom and finds Blaine already under the covers.

He can't help but feel that he's going to mess this up and his father will be the one to suffer.

...

The clanking and laughing keeps getting progressively louder. At first it seems like a dream, but then he shoots up in bed and realizes there is someone else in the apartment. He quietly makes his way to the kitchen, peering around the corner to see Blaine leaning over the island, teasing the man cooking something at the stove.

Blaine turns with two plates in hand and catches sight of Kurt.

"Perfect timing—come have some pancakes, Kurt."

Kurt just nods, eyes still on the other man as Blaine leads him to the table.

"Ah, the infamous Kurt." The man turns and winks at the boy.

"Ignore my idiot brother—"

Kurt's forked drops loudly to his plate. "Cooper Anderson," he whispers.

"—Cooper."

Both boys eye Kurt carefully.

Kurt shakes his head and tries to gather his wits about him. "Sorry, sorry. Nice to meet you."

"I hear you'll be staying with us for a while, Kurt."

"You live here?"

"Yah, just got back from Boston this morning. I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot of one another."

He just nods his head, shock and fear and a dozen other emotions racing through him. Everything he's said since meeting Blaine was running on a loop in his mind. Blaine. Blaine was _Cooper Anderson's_ brother. Oh god.

Kurt made a deal with the brother of one of the most dangerous men in the city.

He was going to be sick.

...

Kurt is unusually quiet during breakfast, but no one calls him on it. He offers to do the dishes just to get away from the table. When a hand touches his shoulder, he flinches and drops the pan he was scrubbing.

"Are you ok?"

He manages to nod and halfway smile at Blaine.

"Cooper and I have some work to do today, but it won't take all day. I thought you might want to go see your dad."

"Yes, definitely."

"Okay, Thad will be up here in an hour to get you. I'll be back this afternoon and we'll go do something fun." Blaine squeezes his shoulder before the brothers leave the apartment.

Kurt nearly has a breakdown as soon as the front door shuts, but he tries to focus on visiting his father. He gets ready quickly and sits against the wall just outside the apartment. The air feels too heavy inside, his thoughts continuing to flicker back to the Anderson brothers.

He's relieved to hear the elevator ding and quickly makes his way towards Thad. Kurt tries to make small talk as a distraction for himself, but it's clear the man has nothing to say.

When they get to the hospital, Thad sits in a chair outside of the room. Gail, his father's nurse, comes in shortly after his arrival and updates him. His father is stable, every test showing normal. It's just going to take some time for him to wake up. Kurt remembers the first heart attack his father had and the days he laid unconscious in that hospital room. His father woke up then and he will wake up now.

Time.

Time spent waiting.

Time spent waiting with Blaine.

He sits beside his father, grasping his hand desperately. "Dad, I don't know what I've gotten us into. If you were awake right now and knew everything, I would deserve every lecture you could dish out. I did this for you, but I did this for me too. I need you in my life and I knew I was making a sacrifice to hopefully help. Turns out the sacrifice is bigger than I thought." He bends over, his forehead resting against their hands together. "I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid."

Kurt looks up to his father, silently pleading for him to wake up. He stares for a long time before he's brought back to reality by Thad opening the door and gesturing for them to leave. Kurt nods and leans over to kiss his father's forehead.

"Bye, dad."

...

They pull up to the building, but before Kurt can get out, he hears the trunk shut and Blaine slides in beside him.

"I'm sorry. Was I supposed to be back sooner?"

Blaine gives him an odd look. "No, you're fine. I wanted you to spend time with your father." He reaches between them and takes Kurt's hand. "I've planned something really exciting for tonight."

"Great." Kurt's smile is too forced, so he turns his head to look out the window. They drive for a while, leaving the city behind. Kurt knows Blaine is watching him, he just can't bring himself to meet his gaze.

"Close your eyes."

Kurt snaps his head around. "What? Why?"

"Because it's a surprise."

"I really don't like surprises."

"Come on."

Kurt takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. The car drives for another minute before coming to a stop. Blaine helps Kurt out of the car, his eyes tightly shut.

"Okay, open then."

Kurt opens his eyes and blinks several times at the sight in front of him. "Oh…"

"Amazing, right?"

"No."

"What?"

"Nothing, I mean—it's fine."

Kurt stares with wide eyes at the hot air balloon in front of them. He lets go of Blaine's hand and leans against the car, focusing on taking deep, measured breaths.

"I thought it would be fun and romantic."

"I—yah, fun. Romantic."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just don't think—Blaine I can't get in that."

"Why?"

"I'm desperately afraid of heights. And that's a basket. Attached to a thin layer of material with a fire beneath it. That doesn't scream death trap to you?"

Blaine looks disappointed.

"I could try it, I think. Maybe."

"No, it's fine. I thought it would be something different."

"I'm sorry I ruined your plan."

"We'll make other plans. In fact, I brought food." As if on queue, the trunk pops and Blaine takes a picnic basket out. "I hope you can handle this kind of basket."

Kurt rolls his eyes. Blaine lays a blanket out in the grass and begins unpacking the basket's contents.

"Okay, we have caviar, pâté, smoked salmon, brie, and an assortment of breads and crackers."

Blaine looks at Kurt's scrutinizing face. "You must like at least some of that."

"Bread and crackers?"

Blaine sighs and shakes his head. "That's the last time I ask Cooper anything."

Kurt lets out a loud laugh. "You asked your brother what to pack for a picnic?"

"Yah. I don't exactly go on many picnics."

"What's wrong with finger sandwiches and fruit and chips?"

"I wanted it to be classier than that. I thought you'd like fancy stuff."

This prompts another laugh from Kurt. "I like some fancy things, but fish eggs and minced meat are not among them. My dad is a mechanic. I think I lived on PB and J sandwiches and hot dogs until I taught myself to cook when I was ten."

"Well, maybe we can live off bread and wine tonight then. We may not be going up in that balloon, but we can still watch it launch."

Kurt just nods and smiles. They lay there for hours, the rainbow balloon long gone in the distance and the sky's colors changing with the sunset. Kurt is just past buzzed and he wishes he'd eaten more than bread to help soak the wine up. The last thing he wants is to be out of control in Blaine's company, no matter how comfortable it feels laying next to him staring up at the sky.

All it takes is a glance toward Blaine and then they're kissing. Kurt tenses only for a moment before he tells himself to relax. Kissing he can do. It's everything else that worries him.

Kissing turns into Blaine laying half on top of him, hand rubbing up and down his side, mouth slowly leaving a trail of kisses down Kurt's neck.

"Blaine, w-we're in public."

"Nobody around." Kissing turns to sucking.

"But we're outside."

Blaine leans up and looks at him. "Okay, let's go home."

Kurt stands up a little too quickly, swaying on his feet. He tries to remember how many glasses he had. Blaine throws everything in the trunk with little finesse, but someone else will surely clean it out tomorrow.

Before Thad even gets them back on the main road, Blaine pins Kurt against the door with a kiss. Kurt pushes back, deepening the kiss to get them upright again. The angle against the door makes his head swim. There are hands all over him, touching, rubbing, burning as they move under the back of his shirt.

"Touch me," Blaine breathes against his lips and then moves back to suck on Kurt's neck.

Kurt runs his hand up Blaine's chest hesitantly. He can do this. This feels nice. He lets his hands roam around Blaine's neck and down his back. Blaine releases his neck only to attack his mouth again.

When Kurt's hand comes to run down Blaine's chest again, Blaine grabs his wrist and guides it further down, never missing a beat of the kiss.

His hand is guided back and forth, more pressure applied. He lets out a small squeak when he realizes he's stroking Blaine's cock. They break apart for just a few moments, Kurt practically gasping for breath. He feels too hot, dizzy. Blaine fidgets in his seat and then settles back again, licking into Kurt's mouth with renewed fervor. Kurt feels his hand being guided again, but this time he feels flesh in his hand. Blaine wraps Kurt's fingers around his cock and slowly slides them up and down. Kurt pulls back slightly, but Blaine follows, moaning into his mouth.

"Yah, just like that."

Kurt turns his head and kisses at Blaine's neck, needing a minute reprieve.

"God, your mouth, Kurt."

As he kisses down Blaine's neck, a gentle pressure on his shoulder urges him down further. He sees Blaine's cock, straining where Kurt's fingers are still wrapped lightly around it. He sits up and looks at Blaine. His pupils blown, face flushed, and looking at Kurt like he could eat him alive.

"Come on, baby." It sounds like a desperate plea, but to Kurt it feels like a demand. This is what he's here for.

"But—Thad." Kurt gestures to the driver.

"I pay him to drive, not to pay attention to what I'm doing."

He reluctantly slides down onto the floor mat, looking up at Blaine, and then back to his hand where it strokes Blaine with more pressure now. He leans forward, licking up the side and over the head. It tastes bitter, but Blaine's moan brings back his focus. The sooner he makes Blaine come, the better. He takes the tip in his mouth, sucking experimentally and swirling his tongue.

"Fuck, yes."

Blaine's hand moves to the back of his head now, urging him forward with a fist full of hair. Kurt takes more and more into his mouth, almost gagging before he pulls back up. He bobs up and down more quickly, not taking as much of Blaine's cock, his fist still pumping at the base. The hand in his hair tightens causing Kurt to groan with discomfort. Blaine seems to like this, pulling harder and then pushing Kurt down while bringing his hips up at the same time. Kurt can feel the head hit the back of his throat and he grips the seat with his free hand. He can't breathe, he's going to throw up, and then Blaine is coming down his throat with a loud moan.

Blaine loosens his grip, allowing Kurt to pull back slightly, but his hand keeps Kurt down. He swallows and prays to a god he doesn't believe in that he won't empty his minimal stomach contents over Blaine's lap. His eyes are wet, but he convinces himself that's from the gagging. Blaine pulls him back onto the seat and kisses him sweetly. Kurt sits back and reaches for the button to lower the window. He looks back to Blaine.

"Hot. And dizzy from the wine." Kurt's voice sounds wrecked. He tries to smile, but his breathing is still coming too fast. Blaine just smiles back and grabs his hand.

Kurt stares out the window, determined not to cry.

...


	3. Chapter 3

**_"There's no such thing as good money or bad money. There's just money." – Charles 'Lucky' Luciano_**

Kurt's thankful when Blaine lets him go straight to bed once they get home. Skincare routine forgotten, he barely gets his pajamas on before he face plants into the bed. There's just enough alcohol still strumming through his system to let him drift off quickly.

He has the most pleasant dream.

_They're at the beach – him and his dad. Kurt sits on a towel watching as his dad runs around playfully chasing two small children. He's healthy and laughing and when the little girl calls him Grandpa, Kurt feels so happy. Burt stops playing for a minute and makes eye contact with Kurt. They both smile and then the playing resumes. Kurt feels warmth surround him and a ticklish breath on his neck. Arms wrap around him and he feels so safe. He turns to look, but the sun is so bright, he can't quite make out anything. _

Kurt wakes up in Blaine's bed, sunlight streaming through the window far too bright for his aching head. It takes a moment for him to remember where he is and then the sleepy smile instantly drops from his face. He reaches for his phone on the nightstand and sees a note with two aspirin and a glass of water next to it.

_I thought you might need these this morning. Thad will be by at noon to pick you up. After you've visited with your father, go buy a suit. We'll be attending a party this evening. Be home by 8. –B_

Kurt takes the medicine and drinks the whole glass of water before making his way to the bathroom. He looks like hell, hair sticking in every direction, dark circles under his eyes, and splotchy skin. Part of him wants to crawl back into bed and cry. Remembering the events from last night coupled with his dream, his emotions feel like a rubber band stretched too far, ready to break.

...

The silence of sitting with his father that day causes him to break down. Kurt has cried a lot over the past weeks, but things are different today. He'd been sullied by Blaine - agreed to it even. The circumstances didn't matter. Kurt was whoring himself out and things had only just begun.

He manages to stop sobbing when the nurse comes in to check his father's vitals. She rubs his back in a comforting gesture, but he doesn't deserve her sympathy. When they are alone again, Kurt finds his voice.

"One day, this will all be worth it, Dad. I just hope you can forgive me."

He squeezes his father's hand and fights hard to keep the tears from coming again.

"I hope I can forgive myself."

And with that he walks out the door, quickly making his way to the car knowing that Thad will be right behind him.

As always, Thad doesn't say a word. Kurt idly wonders if Blaine told him not to. He's pulled from his thoughts as the car comes to a stop in front of a store. Kurt had completely forgotten about the suit.

A very enthusiastic man greets them as they walk in. "You must be Mr. Hummel. We've been expecting you."

Kurt nods and looks around. This isn't exactly JC Penney and is well out of his price range.

"I need to get a suit for a party."

"Yes, Mr. Anderson informed me of what he was looking for. I have several options for you to choose from – let me just pull them in your size."

Kurt is ushered to a dressing room as the man flits off to grab the suits. He ends up trying on three suits, all very similar in their simple sophistication. Thad has no opinion and the salesman seems to think Kurt looks amazing in all of them. Once his decision is made, the salesman adds a few pins for minor alterations.

"I'll have this done and delivered to you this evening."

"How much do I owe you?"

"Mr. Anderson has taken care of it."

Kurt wants to argue. He wants to say that he can afford it himself, but he isn't sure if he actually can. Besides, this is Blaine's stupid party, so he should foot the bill for anything needed for it.

...

"I want to go one more place before we go back to the apartment."

Thad looks at him expectantly in the rearview mirror and Kurt rattles off the address. It doesn't take long to get there, even with the afternoon traffic.

As he walks into the garage, a few familiar faces greet him and ask about his father. Kurt's distracted by the lot full of cars and the man sitting in his father's office.

"—has been really great."

Kurt turns back to Felix with a curious look. "What's been really great?"

"The guys you brought in to help. I was worried for a while there. Patrick got rid of Ken and Steve, but that was a long time coming. Besides, the two new mechanics are practically putting the rest of us to shame."

"Patrick?"

"Kurt, Thad – good to see you again. Come on in." He's never seen the man standing in the doorway to his father's office, but he follows Thad over nonetheless.

When the door is closed, Kurt rounds on him angrily. "Patrick, I assume?"

"Calm down, kid. I'm here to help."

"And who told you to help?"

Patrick looks over to Thad and then back to Kurt. "Who do you think?"

"Blaine?"

"Ding, ding, ding!"

Kurt still has a scowl on his face, but he's confused with the situation.

"So you just came in here and fired two of my dad's guys and brought in some of your own?"

"In case you didn't notice, kid, this place wasn't doing so well. Even before your dad went into the hospital, he wasn't exactly running a top shop here."

"How dare you?!"

"Get as pissed as you want, but have you ever seen the lot this full? I've been here three days and things have already improved."

Kurt was angry; there was no hiding that. But he had also been very worried about his father's shop. While most of the guys knew him, he didn't know how to run the business alone. He couldn't tell you the first thing about how the guys were paid or what to charge for services. This guy apparently did.

"Fine. But when my dad's better, you leave and you take yours guys with you. This isn't Blaine's shop."

Patrick lifted his hands in mock surrender. "Whatever you say kid."

Kurt pushes his irritation aside as he leaves, telling the guys to keep up the good work.

...

His suit arrives that evening, hand delivered by the same man who helped him earlier. He insists on staying until after Kurt is dressed to make sure everything is perfect. The man is straightening the back one final time when Kurt hears the wolf whistle.

"I do believe I'll have the hottest date there tonight."

Kurt can't help but blush at the words. "Well, a fancy suit can make anyone look good."

"I would argue that point with you, but we're short on time." Blaine winks and strips down to his boxers. Kurt averts his eyes and mumbles an excuse to leave the room.

Blaine walks into the living room a few minutes later looking almost dashing. Kurt reminds himself who Blaine is and schools his expression into one of indifference.

"So, do I get your approval?" Blaine spins in place.

"Yes. You look very nice."

Blaine tilts his head, just watching Kurt for a moment. "Come here."

Kurt closes the short distance between, stopping just outside of Blaine's personal space. Their eyes stayed locked, but Kurt begins to feel extremely uncomfortable just standing and staring.

Blaine grabs the side of his neck and leans in for a sweet kiss that quickly turns dirty. As Blaine breaks the kiss, he nips at Kurt's lower lip and then rubs his thumb along where it's red and swollen. Kurt keeps his lips slightly parted, unsure what to say or do.

"All mine."

Kurt's eyes shoot up to meet Blaine's again. He can't bring himself to match Blaine's grin.

Blaine drops his hand and walks towards the door. "Are you coming?"

Kurt nods and makes himself walk, the words repeating in his head. _All mine._

...

The party turns out to be some sort of celebration based on the bits of information Kurt overhears. Blaine keeps him in sight, but makes his way around the room with Cooper. Kurt recognizes some of the men in the room – prominent businessmen, an elected official or two. He reminds himself that this is the lion's den and he tries not to stare. Kurt notices quite a few people eyeing him where he stands off to the side sipping his champagne, Thad posted as his babysitter. Kurt's not entirely sure why Blaine felt it necessary to bring him to this party. And it's not like he's going to try and sneak out – he has nowhere to go.

"So how's my little brother's new plaything doing?"

Kurt's head snaps to the side, Cooper grinning playfully at him. With a nod from Cooper, Thad is gone and Kurt suddenly feels very awkward. He can't very well get angry and deny he is anything other than a toy for Blaine to do with what he pleases.

He settles for "I'm fine."

Cooper leans in just a tad too close, but Kurt doesn't move away. "Don't get comfortable. Blaine tends to get bored easily and his things get… broken."

A shiver goes down his back and he looks up with a furrowed brow. "I'm only here as long as I have to be."

Cooper looks away for a moment. When he turns back to Kurt, he has a goofy smile on his face. He claps Kurt on the shoulder. "Alright, well have fun tonight and I'll see you back at the apartment."

Blaine walks up just as Cooper walks away. "Having a chat?"

"I don't think your brother likes me."

"Cooper likes everybody."

Kurt sees Cooper watching them over Blaine's shoulder and doesn't argue.

"Come on, let's get you another drink."

Hours pass and Blaine makes sure Kurt's champagne glass is always full. He feels out of place here and tries to just make himself look small in the chair he's sitting in. Blaine keeps Kurt at his side, but makes conversation with everyone but him.

Kurt feels flushed. He pushes his champagne glass away and starts to get up.

"Where are you going?"

He immediately sits back down and looks at Blaine. "It's just a little warm in here."

Blaine smiles at him fondly. "You're such a lightweight."

Everyone around them laughs and Kurt knows he's being made fun of. He wants to pout or cry or tell them all to fuck off. He's surprised when Blaine just pulls him up and guides him out to the balcony.

Kurt takes a deep breath and immediately feels a little better.

"Are you having fun?"

"Of course."

Blaine pulls Kurt to look at him, irritation all over his face. "Don't lie to me. Don't you _ever_ lie to me."

Kurt is scared for a moment and then quietly finds his words. "No, I'm not having fun."

Blaine's face relaxes and he looks back out over the balcony. "Why aren't you having fun? You're in a beautiful room wearing a gorgeous suit surrounded by some of the most influential people in the city."

Kurt will never admit that he loves the feel of the suit. It probably costs more than his entire wardrobe combined. And the food and drinks are top quality. Kurt's real frustration is that he is here only because Blaine desires it. For whatever reason, Blaine wants to show him off and Kurt hates the feeling it gives him.

"I don't know any of them. I don't even know what we're supposed to be celebrating."

Blaine makes a small noise of acknowledgement, but says nothing else.

The uncomfortable silence is heavy between them, so he blurts the first thing that comes to mind.

"You put men in my dad's shop."

"I said I'd help him and he needed help there."

Kurt just stares. He can't quite figure Blaine out.

After a few minutes, the liquid courage flowing through Kurt prompts him to ask what he's been thinking about nonstop for the past two days.

"Why didn't you tell me your brother was Cooper Anderson?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"It does matter. I made a deal with the brother of a mobster."

Blaine looks at him with a wolfish grin. "No, Kurt. You made a deal with a mobster."

Kurt's confused. "You mean… you're in it too?"

"In it? Baby, I _am_ it."

"I don't understand."

"I'm not a show pony like my brother. He's the charming one in the family and he likes for people to know him. I do everything behind the scenes. I make the deals, Cooper shakes the hands that finalize them."

"Why do you do it?"

"This is just how it is, Kurt. My father did it and he taught me what I needed to know."

"But, you're so young. You could go to college – you could do anything!"

"That's not my path. You spent the last four years working on a degree that you'll probably never use. I've spent that time running a business."

"So what exactly do you do?"

"We do whatever makes us money."

"Do you steal? Blackmail?"

"Like I said, we do whatever brings the money in. It doesn't matter where it comes from or what we have to do to get it. As long as the money is coming in, we're doing what we need to do."

"Surely there's something else you can do. Something legal. The piano – do you like music?"

"Stop. I'm not debating my career choices with you."

"You consider this a career?"

"No, this is life. You don't know what I've been through. You don't know what's brought me to be where I'm at." Blaine is surprisingly calm.

"Do you kill?"

"If it's needed."

"Have you… have you every killed someone?"

"Of course."

Kurt stands, mouth agape, unsure what to say.

"Does that scare you?"

Unable to find the words, Kurt just nods.

Blaine crowds him against the banister. "Don't be scared. I only kill people that deserve it. And I never let anyone hurt what's mine." Kurt's pulled flush against Blaine, his lips captured in a possessive kiss. Blaine takes and takes and takes until they pull just far enough apart to breathe.

"Say you're mine." Blaine's hands on the sides of his neck, their foreheads pressed together. "_Say you're mine."_

"I'm yours." Kurt whispers the words, not trusting his voice.

Blaine lets out a low growl. "Mine."

There's an insistent pressure on Kurt's shoulders. This time, Kurt doesn't say anything. He just sinks to his knees and reaches for Blaine's belt.

He'd made a deal with the devil.

...


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n - warning in this chapter for dub-con that some would consider non-con**

**_..._**

**_"I'm no saint, but I swear to you that I'm no bum either." - Frank Cotroni_**

They get home in the early hours of the morning, both drunk and uncoordinated. Blaine hadn't so much as touched his hand for the rest of the party. Now, all Kurt can think is _sleep_ and drops his expensive suit jacket on the floor as he rummages in a drawer for his pajamas. He stands up triumphant, but is quickly spun around, the pajamas discarded at his side.

Blaine presses him against the dresser, hands untucking his shirt, and mouth biting along his neck. Somehow in his distraction, Kurt missed Blaine undressing down to his boxers. Kurt tells himself to relax, but his body stays stiff, unmoving. Blaine steps back and licks his lips as he appraises Kurt.

"I want you."

Kurt bites his lip and suddenly feels completely sober. He's immobilized with fear.

"Tell me you want me too."

There's a tense beat between them before Kurt gives in.

"I want you too." His voice only wavers slightly, but Blaine doesn't seem to notice. Blaine doesn't care that he has to tell Kurt to say the words. As long as he says them, surely Kurt means them.

"Take off your clothes."

This moment had been coming for some time and Kurt thought he was prepared. After all, this was the deal he made, right? This was why he was here in this luxury apartment with a man he barely knew (or liked for that matter). He's as focused as he can get for someone that had more drinks than he could count.

Kurt's hand trembles when he starts to unbutton his shirt. He panics internally for a moment when he can't get it undone, but then feels the button ease beneath his fingers. When the shirt is discarded on the floor near his jacket, Kurt thinks he hears Blaine mumble _so pretty_, but it's hard to hear over the rush of blood in his ears.

Everything about this is wrong. He shouldn't be here and he shouldn't be doing this, but he can't say no. He's not entirely sure what Blaine would do when denied something. He wouldn't just accept it or let Kurt walk out of the apartment. There would be no 'nice knowing you' handshakes and goodbyes. Kurt is sure Blaine is the type of man that gets what he wants no matter the cost.

Kurt quickly removes his belt and pants, leaving him in just his underwear. He takes a deep breath and then pushes them down to add to the pile of clothes. Blaine is lounging on the bed, leaning back on his elbows, obviously hard in his tented boxers.

Blaine just stares – eyes roaming everywhere and then lingering. Kurt is undoubtedly blushing, never feeling so on display. He makes his way towards the bed, moving towards the inevitable. He kneels on the edge and Blaine reaches out to touch his bare chest, fingers twisting on a nipple. Kurt pulls back, but quickly reaches for Blaine's boxers. Once they're discarded amongst the mess, he kneels to the side of Blaine, wanting their bodies to touch as little as possible. Kurt leans down to lick over the head of Blaine's cock. This is something he knows he can do. He gets an appreciative moan out of Blaine and slowly takes him in his mouth. Kurt feels a hand trace along his side and then over his ass. He bobs his head, moves his tongue quicker, hoping he can just get Blaine off like this.

But then there's a hand under his chin pulling him up into a messy kiss. The kiss get's more forceful, all teeth and tongue, and the lingering taste of whiskey. Kurt is pushed back against the bed and he tries to take deep, even breaths.

"Just look at you. Fuck." Blaine's biting and sucking his way down Kurt's chest. A particularly hard graze of teeth causes Kurt to cry out which seems to spur Blaine on. "Gonna fuck you."

Blaine reaches into the side drawer and pulls out a small bottle of lube. "Turn over."

Kurt moves quickly to comply, grateful that he doesn't have to look at Blaine. He can feel Blaine move behind him, grabbing handfuls of his ass, and then pulling his cheeks apart. Kurt didn't think it was possible to blush any more, but Blaine is just _staring_ at him down there. A dry finger brushes over his hole with gentle pressure. A small whimper escapes Kurt and that seems to draw Blaine's attention back.

"Yah…"

It sounds like Blaine is answering some unspoken question. Kurt feels a cold, wet finger slide down his crack and he starts to pull away. A firm hand on his hip keeps him in place. Fingers circle his pucker and then one slowly pushes in, not hurting as Kurt had anticipated.

The first finger is removed and then joined by a second lubed finger. The stretch stings a little and Blaine's pumping them in and out too fast, not giving Kurt time to adjust.

"Greedy little hole…"

Kurt buries his head in the pillow wishing himself anywhere but here.

The fingers are removed and Kurt bites his lip waiting for the third. He feels a blunt pressure against his ass then and turns to look back at Blaine. "Wait!"

"Can't wait, baby." And then he's pushing in. Kurt let's out a strangled cry as he bites into the pillow. He's not stretched enough and it _hurts_. Blaine's pushing and pushing and Kurt is sure that he's tearing apart. It feels like forever before Blaine finally bottoms out and Kurt wills his body to relax. "So fucking tight for me. All for me." Blaine sounds wrecked, but Kurt can barely hear, too focused on everything hurting.

Blaine leans forward and kisses the back of his neck, somehow pushing himself even deeper. Kurt mewls and clutches the pillow like a lifeline.

As Blaine starts to pull back, the drag feels just as bad and Kurt realizes he's crying. He reaches back to put a hand on Blaine's hip to get him to pause for just a minute. But Blaine pays it no mind and slams back in causing Kurt to cry out unrestrained. Blaine sets an unrelenting rhythm, molding his body to Kurt's back to whisper in his ear.

"You were made for this. Made to be fucked. So fucking tight. My tight little slut."

Kurt's chanting _no, no, no_ in his head, but he can't say it out loud. He cries into the pillow, little sounds forced out of him with each thrust, waiting for it to end. He focuses on the cool sheets below him instead of Blaine's skin burning him.

When Blaine finally comes deep inside him, all Kurt can think is '_he didn't wear a condom'_ which only makes more tears fall.

Blaine pulls out and collapses to the bed. Kurt falls easily without the hands on his waist keeping him up. He stays as still as possible, hoping Blaine won't do anything else.

"S'it good, baby?" With the alcohol and the orgasm, Blaine sounds half asleep already. "Good for you?"

"Yah," Kurt barely chokes out. He won't say that it wasn't good for him or that he never got hard and all he wants to do is curl into a ball and cry. Instead, he lets Blaine throw an arm over him and takes steady breaths until he hears the other man start to snore.

He lies there until he counts to three hundred and then slowly starts to slide to the side of the bed. When he stands, his knees buckle from the shock of pain that shoots through him and he falls to the floor, but doesn't cry out. Blaine continues snoring, so Kurt crawls the short distance to the bathroom and closes the door. He turns on the small light attached to his facial mirror to illuminate the bathroom enough to see. With a warm washcloth, he gently wipes Blaine's come from his thighs and where it's continuing to leak out of him. He winces at even the lightest touch, but knows he has to get himself clean. When he pulls the washcloth away, he sees streaks of red and pink – his blood mixed with Blaine's come. Bile immediately rises in his throat and he hurries to the toilet to throw up. When he has nothing left to purge, he sits back and nearly cries out from the pressure. He lies down on his side, wiping his mouth with a wad of toilet paper.

The sun is just starting to rise, bringing a warmth of colors through the bathroom window. The cool tile against his cheek grounds him and he quickly drifts off to sleep.

...

The door opening wakes him up and he tries to remember wear he is. He's cold and everything aches.

"Kurt? What are you doing in here?"

_Blaine_. Kurt has trouble forming the words; his head is pounding. "Got sick."

He brings his hand up to cover his eyes. It's so bright.

Somehow the flushing of the toilet gets him to shake off the haze. Blaine's voice is much closer now. "You got sick so you slept on the bathroom floor? You're officially cut off from alcohol."

It sounds teasing and Kurt just hums in response.

"Come on, sit up. You can't stay here, you're shivering."

Blaine grabs his shoulder and tries to get him somewhat vertical. Kurt winces and lets out a whine, reaching out to the wall to try and reposition himself.

"Are you okay?"

Kurt nods his head quickly, but he's biting his lip and shifting uncomfortably.

Blaine looks over to see the discarded washcloth. His face is a mask of worry. "Did I hurt you last night?"

Kurt wants to shake his head, but he doesn't want to lie. "Sore."

Blaine lets out a frustrated sigh and stands up to turn the knobs on the bath. He doesn't ask any more questions, but when he turns back to Kurt he almost looks guilty.

Kurt's managed to get his knees under him so he's somewhat upright without sitting. Blaine turns off the water and leans down to help Kurt up. His body is still extremely stiff from sleeping on the tile floor, on top of all of the other aches and pains.

Kurt moves slowly, but the hot bath feels amazing once he lowers himself into it. He sits awkwardly, trying to find the least painful position. Blaine kneels next to the bath and hands Kurt a clean washcloth. Somehow Kurt feels more self-conscious now. Blaine seems to be acting nice out of remorse and Kurt would prefer that he not.

"I'm fine now. You can go." Kurt says it softly and Blaine just nods and leaves.

Kurt's exhausted and all cried-out, which he is thankful for. He doesn't want Blaine to see him cry.

Blaine returns a short while later, a huge towel in hand. "Come on and get out. The water has to be cooled by now."

Kurt nods and locks eyes with Blaine who gives him a half smile before spreading the towel in his arms as if to give Kurt some semblance of privacy. He wants to let out a bitter laugh because Blaine has basically paid for full access to his body – he can look if he wants. It takes him a few moments to get up and step out into the waiting towel. Blaine helps wrap it tightly around him and then grabs a second smaller towel to help dry Kurt's hair.

"You should go back to bed. I'm sure you didn't sleep well."

Again, all Kurt can do is nod. He let's Blaine lead him back to the bed and notices the sheets have been changed. He sits on the edge of the bed and Blaine holds two pills out for him.

"Extra-strength Tylenol. I figured we'd go a step up from the aspirin." Blaine gives another half smile and Kurt just works one of his hands out from the towel cocoon. He takes the pills and drinks nearly half the glass of water. "I have to run out for a while. Get some sleep."

Kurt watches him leave and wonders how that's the same person that called him a slut and tore him open last night. He lies down in bed, still wrapped in his towel, and pulls the comforter over him. Sleep comes easily.

...

When Kurt wakes up, it's late afternoon. He's determined not to get out of bed any time soon, maybe never, but then his bladder wins out. Everything still aches, but it's dull, diluted. Kurt's fairly certain those weren't Tylenol Blaine gave him earlier.

His head is still a little swimmy and he shuffles more than actually walks, but he stays upright. It's not until he's discarded the towel and looking in the mirror that he actually feels fully awake.

Hickeys litter his body from neck to navel. Bruises in the shape of fingers mar his hips and he fits his own hand over them. He doesn't remember the hands on him hurting, too focused on other pains. The colors blooming on his body look much more stark against the pale canvas of his skin. He's been marked. He's been _claimed_.

Even through the t-shirt and sweatpants he puts on, Kurt swears he can see the marks. He pulls the throw off the side chair and wraps it around his shoulders as another layer.

His feet falter as he enters the living room and finds Blaine sitting there with his laptop. For a moment, Kurt is confused at the sight in front of him. Blaine's wearing an almost identical outfit to Kurt's. His hair is a little messy – curlier than Kurt's seen it before, probably due to the lack of gel currently weighing it down. He's wearing glasses and typing furiously. When he finally looks up and sees Kurt, he smiles so big that his eyes crinkle.

"Hey sleepy head."

"Hi."

"I was hoping you'd be up soon. I sent someone out to get food. It should be here soon."

Kurt opens his mouth to say he's not hungry, but his stomach speaks up for him.

Blaine smiles again and pats the couch beside him in invitation as he closes his laptop. Kurt makes his way over, pulling the blanket tighter around himself as he sits gingerly next to Blaine.

Blaine rests his hand on the back of Kurt's neck, rubbing lightly with his thumb. "Are you still sore?"

"It's getting better." It's not entirely a lie. It still hurts, but he's not on the verge of tears with each movement.

The rubbing on his neck feels calming, sweet. Kurt finds himself leaning into it slightly, so desperate for any comfort.

The slamming of the door causes him to stiffen and pull away.

"It's just dinner."

Blaine walks into the kitchen and Kurt takes a few deep breaths before following.

"Is someone else joining us?" There are bags and bags of food and whoever brought them has already left.

Blaine looks up, a container in each hand, and shrugs.

"Just us, but I didn't know what you wanted. I know for sure you like Italian so we've got cannelloni and chicken marsala. You mentioned once that you loved Chinese food, so here is broccoli beef and sesame chicken. Then we have a cheeseburger and fries – really can't go wrong there. And then a couple quesadillas because everyone loves cheese."

There's a hint of vulnerability in Blaine's eyes when Kurt looks at him, but it's gone almost as quickly as it appeared.

"Broccoli beef sounds great."

"Chinese it is then. You grab the waters."

They eat in silence, watching some mindless reality TV show.

Blaine takes the remaining food back to the kitchen and then offers to put in a movie. Kurt agrees, no preference other than something funny. Blaine pops in _The Hangover_ and mumbles something about too much alcohol that Kurt doesn't quite hear. When he resituates back on the couch, he sits right next to Kurt, even throwing an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer.

Kurt looks into Blaine's eyes, a little unsure what will happen next. Blaine kisses him softly, tasting slightly sweet, but all Kurt can think of are forceful whiskey kisses. He wants this to be over with so he can just go back to bed, so he moves his hand down to Blaine's waistband. Blaine gives him one more light peck and clasps their hands together before turning back to the movie.

Kurt stares at their hands resting across Blaine's stomach.

The next thing he knows, Blaine is whispering his name and running a hand through his hair to wake him up. He sits up, realizing his head had been resting on Blaine's shoulder, and wipes at his eyes.

"Come on, you can go back to sleep. Let's just get to bed."

Kurt doesn't protest, lets himself be led, and then crawls under the covers. The bed feels plush beneath him, but he feels a little like he's in that dream again. Warmth wrapped around him and a breath tickling his neck. He wants to turn his head to look, but he's just so sleepy. He likes this dream.

...

It's too hot.

He's sweating and the air is too thick.

He kicks the comforter off, pushes his sweaty pillow to the floor, and tries to untangle himself from the mess of sheets around him.

The whine from behind him makes him aware that it's less sheets, more man that he's tangled with. Kurt lifts himself up a little from where he's laying on his stomach and sees Blaine curled up along his side. He's still too hot so he starts to move away.

"No, five more minutes."

Kurt stops moving, trying to determine if Blaine is really awake.

When one eye peaks open, he gets his answer.

"Where did all the covers go? It's cold."

"I got hot."

"Come back." Blaine's eyes are closed, but his arms are reaching out.

Kurt shuffles back across the bed and Blaine's arms wrap around and pull him close.

"Mmm, better."

Blaine's hand idly traces across Kurt's back, but he starts to lightly snore again.

Kurt's fist balls the material of Blaine's shirt and he wants to cry so badly. He can't reconcile in his mind how this man can hold him so sweetly as the dull ache in his body resonates.

He doesn't cry.

He doesn't sleep.

He just waits.

...


	5. Chapter 5

**_"Me I never had the chance to say, well, I'm going to do something I want to do. I always did if for my family, for my children, for my father, for my mother." – Thomas Gambino_**

There's distance between them for the next several days. Kurt is both thankful and wary, his mind supplying elaborate reasons for the change. Blaine is always gone when Kurt wakes up in the morning. There aren't any more notes on the bedside table. Thad arrives promptly at noon every day to take Kurt to visit his father and then he's always sure to be back at the apartment before dinner. Only Blaine doesn't come home until late – usually after Kurt has gone to sleep. There's no sexual advances, no dates, not even a conversation.

Kurt gets anxious with all of the silence. He's going to go mad in this apartment and what would happen to his father then?

The second the door opens, he regrets staying up - waiting and determined to talk.

He doesn't realize the mistake he's made until it's Cooper that walks into the living room instead of Blaine.

When their eyes meet, Cooper grins like the Cheshire Cat.

"Hey plaything. You're up late."

Kurt opens his mouth to respond, but ends up just gaping like a fish, unsure what he wants to say.

Cooper starts to walk towards him and Kurt immediately gets up and heads for the bedroom.

"Oh plaything, come here." Cooper throws an arm around his shoulder and swings him back around, knocking him off balance so he has no choice but to grab the taller man to steady himself. "You were obviously waiting up for a reason."

He ruffles Kurt's hair in mock playfulness. The smell of alcohol combined with the tight embrace scares Kurt more than he wants to admit.

"I was waiting for Blaine."

"Of course you were, but Blaine's not going to be back any time soon because unlike you, he has work he has to do."

"I'm not—"

"Oh, I'm sure being my brother's whore is hard work, but you're really just a distraction and frankly – we don't need any distractions right now."

"He's making me stay. I don't want to be here."

"Yah, you look like a real prisoner here. You can leave at any time."

"I don't know what I've done to make you dislike me, but I assure you I'll be out of your life once my arrangement with Blaine is over."

"I like you just fine. And don't act like a victim here."

"You don't understand—"

"I understand perfectly. Blaine saw you looking all pretty with a price tag on your head and he couldn't resist the temptation. But that's just it. He's paying you for your services."

Kurt starts to interrupt, but Cooper just pats him on the head.

"But he's going to get tired of you soon and then he'll be one hundred percent focused back on work and you're going to end up fuck if I know where. Blaine and I are carrying on what our father started. And unfortunately Blaine has a little too much of our mother in him, so he takes in little kittens like you. He'll learn eventually."

Cooper slaps him hard on the back and walks down the hallway, leaving Kurt speechless.

He crawls into bed that night hoping he'll never be alone with Cooper again.

...

It's two days later when the loud noises wake him up. The clock on his phone is too bright in the dark room. 3:18am.

He hears arguing and his immediate reaction is to lock himself in the bathroom. The voices are muffled and he can only make out some of what's being said. Names he doesn't recognize, threats, retaliation, death. Kurt doesn't want to even let himself put it all together. Suddenly, the front door slams and it's eerily quiet. He waits a few minutes before opening the bathroom door. He listens – nothing.

When he walks down the hallway, he sees Blaine sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees and face in his hands.

"Blaine?"

The face that greets Kurt looks tired, guarded, and a bit annoyed.

"What are you doing up?"

"I heard… the door slamming woke me up."

Blaine's stare is unnerving. "Come here."

Kurt complies, slowly making his way over to sit next to Blaine. He hugs his knees against his chest in a defensive position. The move doesn't go unnoticed.

Sitting in the silence, it's hard to tell if Blaine is still angry after the argument he had with who Kurt can only assume was Cooper.

"Did something happen?" Kurt's not sure he wants to know, but the question escapes him regardless.

Blaine laughs, but it's humorless. "Yah, something happened."

He looks like he wants to say something else, but then Blaine schools his expression back to one of indifference.

Kurt watches him for a long time, not knowing what to say or do, but still wanting to just be there for some reason.

After being quiet for so long, Blaine's words take him by surprise. "Did you know I started this when I was eighteen? Barely out of high school and suddenly able to wield a lot of power. I didn't choose it—not really. It chose me. I thought I'd have more time to figure my life out, evaluate my _career choices _just like a good boy should."

Kurt thought back to the night of the party when he'd tried to tell Blaine there were other options.

"But things happen. People die and other people have to stand up and take responsibility. And then more people die and others threaten what you've built and you have to do what's necessary to keep things going. And there's so much bad shit going down right now."

He sighs and lays his head against the back of the couch.

"Sometimes I think about my 14-year-old self and remember how naïve and trusting I was. Things could've turned out completely different – like another life. Maybe I would have turned out more like my mother wanted. Run away from the hard times to a new school, new friends. Maybe I would've kept some of that innocence."

Blaine's eyes are closed like he's imagining it. Kurt tries to think of a different version of Blaine. Maybe they would've been friends.

"Andersons don't run though, so I turned into what my father wanted instead. I wouldn't change a thing because I _never_ regret my decisions."

Kurt's not sure what to make of Blaine's rant, but the moment has passed and whatever brought it on has been pushed back down.

Blaine shakes his head and rubs a hand over his face. "Go back to bed, Kurt."

"I—" His voice cracks, but then he feigns courage he doesn't have to continue. "Can I go back to my home tomorrow?"

Blaine looks at him like he's lost his mind. "Last I heard today, your father was still in a coma and unless you're breaking our deal then you're staying right here where you belong."

"I'm not breaking our deal, but you're never here. There's no point in me staying here."

"You stay here because it's what I want. You will continue to stay here until I say otherwise."

Kurt sighs and stands up. "Fine, I'll stare at your walls and continue to be locked in this extravagant prison while you're off robbing and killing and doing whatever else it is you've convinced yourself is okay in this life. And I will stay here until my father gets better and then our agreement will be over. "

He turns to walk away, but Blaine catches him by the wrist and pushes him face down on the arm of the couch.

"I don't think I quite understand the complaint here. Are you purposely trying to piss me off?" Blaine's voice is even, but the pressure on Kurt's back is heavy. "Do you miss me? Is that what it is?"

"I miss my life. I miss my friends. I miss being able to do whatever I want." He doesn't struggle in this position, but his words are filled with spite.

"You're a brat."

"You're an ass."

"I get it now." Blaine leans over Kurt, molding their bodies together to whisper in his ear. "You're lonely. You need a little attention."

Kurt tries to move his head away, but he's effectively pinned. "I just want to go home."

"This _is_ home."

Kurt shakes his head.

"And you say I'm never here. So, I'm not giving you enough attention. Is that right?"

"That's not what I meant by it."

"Oh, I think it is." He stood up, keeping his lower half flush with Kurt's and a hand on the back of his neck. "You want me to spend some quality time with you?"

Blaine's hips begin to rock forward.

This is not how Kurt envisioned the conversation going. He was lonely, but not because of the lack of sexual acts between them. The only conversation Kurt got now was from his father's nurse when she came to check on him. Thad never spoke no matter how much Kurt antagonized him. His father was unable to speak and Kurt was forbidden from contacting anyone else. He'd always been a very social person and he missed simple human interaction. And though he would never admit it out loud, maybe he did miss talking to Blaine.

"Tell me, baby. Is this what you need?"

Blaine pulls Kurt's pajama pants and underwear down just below his ass. Kurt closes his eyes and tries to steady his breathing. A shiver runs down his back as he remembers the soreness that is now gone from his body.

The hand is removed from his neck and Kurt can feel Blaine unbuttoning his pants where he still has Kurt's legs pinned. Now no longer fully restrained, he moves to stand up.

Blaine grabs both of his arms and twists them behind his back, pushing him back down onto the arm of the couch. His wrists are held together by one of Blaine's hands, the other hand continuing to work on his pants.

Kurt immediately tenses when he feels Blaine hard and hot against his ass. He's taken by surprise when Blaine spits and then slowly rubs his cock up and down the cleft of his ass spreading the wetness. Blaine starts to move his hips faster, letting go of Kurt's wrists to press his cheeks tighter around his thrusting dick. There's another bit of spit, but it's still too dry and the friction burns a little. Kurt just holds onto the couch, letting Blaine move against him, thankful for not being penetrated. Blaine comes with a groan all over Kurt's lower back where his shirt has ridden up.

"Is this what you wanted? Me coming home just to use you however I want?"

He can feel Blaine rubbing the come into his skin and it makes Kurt cringe, but he doesn't move. When it starts dripping down his ass, Blaine rubs the wetness over Kurt's hole eliciting a gasp.

Blaine wipes his hand on Kurt's hip and then moves to the other end of the couch.

With slightly shaky hands, Kurt pulls his underwear and pajamas back up, trying to ignore the disgusting feeling of the now moist fabric stuck to his skin. He stands and just stares again.

"Blaine…"

"Go the fuck to bed, Kurt."

He doesn't hesitate in leaving the room, quickly changing his clothes, and then crawling under the covers. He watches the minutes pass on his phone and doesn't let himself drift off until he hears the front door close again.

...

Neither Blaine nor Cooper come home for the next two days. Kurt is sure he's messed everything up though he can't pinpoint exactly what it was. He knows that he's talked back and pulled away and been less than enthusiastic.

_All you have to do is keep me happy._

Kurt wasn't keeping up his end of this bargain. When he visits his father, he questions every nurse he sees to make sure that nothing is changing with his treatment and that he'll continue to stay.

He expects Blaine to end their arrangement at any time.

When Blaine comes home late on the second night looking exhausted, Kurt decides then and there that he'll do whatever it takes to keep Blaine happy.

There's a little half smile on his face when they make eye contact and Kurt can't help but genuinely smile back. Blaine being here means that Kurt still has a chance to do what he needs to in order for his father to continue getting the help he needs.

Kurt walks to him unprompted and lets Blaine pull him in for a brief kiss.

"I'm glad you came home."

Blaine looks at him curiously, but only smiles again. "I had work, but things are fixed for now. I'll come home more."

Kurt doesn't push for more info and Blaine doesn't say anything else.

They get ready for bed in silence and Kurt lets Blaine hold him close as they fall asleep.

...

God, he feels good. His body is thrumming with pleasure and Kurt is just reveling in it. He hasn't felt this good in so long.

There's a noise and he slowly starts to wake up. He groans, unsure if it's because he's being forced awake or because his body is still tingling. There are wet lips on his neck and a hand on his cock. His eyes immediately open and he reaches out for Blaine's arm, stopping him from his ministrations.

"Morning, baby. I was beginning to think I was going to make you come in your sleep."

Kurt blushes and ducks his head.

"Don't get shy now."

He meets Blaine's gaze, nervous and embarrassed at how turned on he was.

"God, you look so innocent sometimes. I want to see what you look like when you come. I want to watch."

Blaine pulls away and Kurt is both relieved and confused. "Blaine?"

"Gonna watch you make yourself come." His grin is almost maniacal.

It might've been the cloudiness of sleep still lingering, but Kurt didn't understand.

Blaine settles at the far corner of the bed. "Finger yourself for me, baby."

Kurt blinks owlishly until the words fully settle in his brain. He looks down to where he's still half hard and then pushes his underwear and pants down from where they are bunched at his knees. He pulls his t-shirt over his head and drops it to the side.

The blush still lingers on his chest and he feels so awkwardly exposed. This is the first time Blaine has seen him naked when they've been sober. Kurt doesn't count that morning in the bathroom since he likely had puke on his face and there is absolutely no way Blaine was turned on then. But now the man sits just feet away, comfortable in his nudity, just watching and waiting.

Kurt takes a deep breath and as he exhales there is a small sense of relief. He's done this before, knows what he likes, and how his body feels. Part of him worries that the hurt that has already healed will somehow still be there.

He grabs the bottle of lube from the drawer and then lies back against the pillow, spreading his legs slightly. Kurt's never done this in front of anyone, but he knows how to put on a show (albeit normally clothed and completely willingly). His hands rub along his chest and circle the already hard nipples. A small tweak and he closes his eyes to try and get lost in a fantasy. There was that guy from last semester's design class – Robert or Richard or something. His name doesn't matter, just his image. Kurt imagines they're in design guy's bed instead of Blaine's. His hand moves from his nipple down across his stomach and he can already feel the blood rushing south. He gives himself a few firm strokes until he's hard again and then brushes a finger against his hole. He opens his eyes just long enough to grab the lube and generously coat his fingers. Eyes closed and he imagines he's doing this for his lover, someone he trusts and cares for. He rubs around his hole lightly and then presses in the tiniest bit with one finger. It doesn't hurt. Rationally he knew it wouldn't, but he still moves slowly. He pushes in further, knees up and spread, body hunching forward to get a better angle. The slow drag in and out is not enough to get him off, but he hesitates longer than he normally would before he adds the second finger. With two, he can feel the stretch and he savors it because he loves this feeling. After a minute, he pulls them out to add more lube. Blaine has relaxed more, laying on his side, hand gripping his cock but not stroking. He doesn't look up at Kurt, too focused on where three fingers are now pushing in slowly. Kurt's eyes roll back and his mouth opens slightly. He bites his lip and rolls his balls in his free hand. The fingers move with more confidence as he imagines they are his lover's instead of his own.

His hand wraps around his cock and he can feel the heat building within him. He's sweating and writhing and so, so close.

"Fuck…"

The voice draws him from his fantasy, but he's already over the edge, coming all over his stomach as his fingers slip out and his back arches.

He strokes himself through it, somehow unable to look away from Blaine who is staring back at him with complete unadulterated lust. Kurt can see how hard Blaine still is, but his hand is still not moving.

Blaine crawls up the bed towards him and Kurt's breathing too hard to say anything to stop him.

"That was even hotter than I thought it would be." And then he's pressing Kurt into the mattress with a deep and dirty kiss. Kurt can feel Blaine rutting against his hip and starts kissing back enthusiastically in hopes of getting a few minutes recovery time before Blaine wants his own release.

Blaine pulls back slightly, breathing just as hard as Kurt. "Let's take a shower."

He's up and off the bed before he can even see Kurt's look of confusion.

Kurt hears the water turn on and slowly makes his way to the bathroom. Blaine is already in the shower, but he's left the glass door open for Kurt, water splashing out onto the tile.

Kurt closes the door behind him and Blaine quickly grabs him and presses his chest against the shower wall

"You have no idea what you do to me."

Kurt wants to make a joke that he knows fairly well what he does to him and can feel it hard against his ass. Blaine ruts into the cleft of his ass and then rubs the head of his dick against Kurt's still slick hole. Kurt tenses and waits for him to push in, but he just continues rubbing against him.

"So close just from watching."

Blaine's breathing hot and heavy into Kurt's ear and then there's come covering the back of Kurt's thighs. Blaine is holding him tightly, thrusting through the last waves of his orgasm. He places a kiss between Kurt's shoulder blades and then pulls Kurt fully under the water. They wash pretty quickly, Blaine smiling the entire time.

They don't talk again until they're clean and dry and eating a fruit salad that Kurt threw together.

"I thought I'd go see your dad with you today and then we could do a little shopping."

This takes Kurt by surprise. His time with his dad, though one-sided in conversation, is private. He can't deny Blaine though so he nods.

"Whatever you want."

...

His dad's nurse, Gail, is there as always and greets them with a smile.

Kurt has developed a sort of routine for his time with his dad. He checks the pillows to make sure they're supporting him enough. He straightens the sheet and blanket pulled up over his dad's waist. He massages a little lotion into each of his dad's hands. And then he sits in the same chair, the same spot every day, and talks to his dad like they're catching up from the previous day.

Kurt tries to pretend like Blaine isn't there, but it's a little uncomfortable since he often talks to his dad about the situation he is in. He keeps today's topics neutral and then just tries to enjoy the silence between them. Blaine gets a call from Cooper and walks to the far end of the room to talk. It's hard to make out what they're discussing, but Kurt hears the irritation in Blaine's voice. When the call ends, Blaine mumbles some choice words about his brother and then takes a seat near the window.

The beeping on one of his father's monitors is normally calming, but Kurt can't seem to relax.

Blaine seems restless since his conversation with Cooper and it's a distraction for Kurt. He can't exactly tell Blaine to leave.

"We should probably go for the day. Nothing's changed and I know they'll call me if anything does."

"Are you sure? You normally spend hours here."

Kurt's not surprised that Blaine knows how long his visits are, but he's still annoyed. He fakes a smile and pushes the frustration down.

"It's fine. Really."

Blaine grabs his hand and smiles sweetly.

"Is everything okay with Cooper?"

"Other than him being an idiot – yes. He can't do anything on his own. He couldn't do any of this without me. For years, I've been stepping up and saving his ass when things need to be done." It's like Blaine physically tries to shake off the negative feelings, never letting go of Kurt's hand in the process.

After leaving the hospital, they stop at what Kurt assumes is another high-end clothing store. Based on Blaine's wardrobe, he has no qualms about spending his money on fine clothing.

When they walk in, a young woman greets them and then leads them to a backroom.

"They don't put the best stuff out on the floor," Blaine whispers.

"Jenny will be with you in just a minute." And with that, the young woman is gone. Blaine pulls Kurt along by the hand, thumbing through a few racks distractedly.

"What are you shopping for today?"

"I'm buying you a coat. You don't have anything suitable for the cold."

"Blaine, it's October, I don't think I'll freeze anytime soon."

"You'll need it next month and I'd rather get it now."

"I have a perfectly good coat at home."

"It's probably cheap. You need something nice."

"I don't need an overpriced coat when I can just—"

"God, Kurt, it's a coat! Don't be so fucking unappreciative!" Blaine's hands are gripping his arms and Kurt wonders when they got so close.

Kurt's eyes widen and he tries to pull away, but Blaine's grip just tightens. "I-I'm sorry. I thought… I just didn't want you to waste your money."

"I have plenty of money. When I say I want to buy you something, let me."

"O-Okay."

Blaine's aggravation fades from his face, voice taking on a much more pleasant tone. "Now what kind of coat do you think you'd like? I think you'd look good in a peacoat."

"Yah, that would be nice."

Just then, a middle-aged blonde woman comes out of another back room. "Mr. Anderson. I'm so happy you could stop by. I understand you're looking for a winter coat, correct?"

"Yes, for my boyfriend here."

Kurt hopes the look on his face is more schooled than he's feeling inside. _Boyfriend_? He figures it probably wouldn't be appropriate to be introduced as 'the guy I fuck while his father lies in a coma.'

"Kurt?"

He looks to the woman and back to Blaine, both of them staring at him expectantly. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Do you have any particulars that you're looking for in a coat other than the overall style? A specific designer or material or color?"

"No."

"Kurt, don't lie. You know enough about fashion to tell her what you want."

Kurt looks at Blaine who seems to still have some residual anger in his expression.

"Something dark, but not black. And I've always liked McQueen." What he liked and what he could afford were two different things. At least in the past.

"I believe we have two. Let me pull them."

She returns with the two coats – one charcoal and the other navy. The navy one fits him like a glove and before he even says anything, Blaine is completing the sale. Kurt has only owned a few McQueen pieces – out of season and heavily discounted. And here he stood in front of a mirror wearing the latest style that no doubt cost at least a couple thousand dollars. The material felt amazing under his fingers and he closes his eyes imagining being able to afford this on his own.

"Plan on wearing it home?"

Kurt's eyes shoot open and meet Blaine's in the mirror.

"No." He quickly takes it off and hands it to the woman to hang and put into a garment bag. Before they are even out of the store, Kurt feels guilty for how happy getting that coat made him.

In the car, Blaine is quiet and Kurt can't read his mood. Things will only get worse if Blaine is still angry.

Kurt reaches over and intertwines his fingers with Blaine's.

Blaine looks down at their hands and then up at Kurt with a neutral expression on his face. Kurt smiles. "Thank you for the coat."

Blaine smiles back and just nods. The tension seemed to be gone then, but Kurt knows the smallest thing could set him off again, as evidenced by their exchange in the store. Kurt shifts closer and lays his head on Blaine's shoulder.

If Kurt is going to survive the remainder of their time together, he's going to have to lose what little pride he has left and just give in to this man.

He hopes there will still be a part of the real him left when this is over.

...


	6. Chapter 6

**_"He who is deaf, blind and silent, lives a thousand years in peace." – John Gotti_**

A sort of numbness takes over. He's still present – has to stay attentive to everything Blaine says and does or things won't end well. But he's not himself. It's like there's a switch inside of him that turns off the fiery attitude and the deep emotions and everything that is inherently Kurt.

Blaine continues to introduce Kurt as his boyfriend. Kurt thought it was just an easy label with strangers. But when he says it to people in the family – people that know who Kurt is and why he's here – Kurt realizes that Blaine actually believes it. He wants to laugh about it, tell Blaine he's a fool for thinking Kurt is anything more than a whore and a prisoner who is just biding his time until parole.

Blaine's been surprisingly gentle, making quips about 'wooing' him and not being forceful with his advances. Part of that is because of the numbness. When they kiss and touch, Kurt goes on autopilot to get Blaine off. Handjobs, blowjobs, rubbing his body just right. Whatever it takes to get Blaine sated.

With Kurt much more compliant now, Blaine doesn't censor himself as much in regards to the business. The first time Blaine started talking about a deal with Cooper in Kurt's presence, Kurt was certain the elder brother was going to kill someone. He wasn't sure if it would be him or Blaine, but the moment passed and Blaine hadn't even noticed.

Kurt tunes it out. He doesn't want to know details about anything illegal the Anderson brothers are doing. He doesn't want to be an accessory or a liability. The less he knows about the business, the better.

Blaine does start to open up to him more about his personal life though. He tells Kurt about when he was jumped as a teen because he was gay and for the first time since he came to be with Blaine, Kurt actually feels sorry for him. Blaine talks about it like it happened to someone else, or in another life. And maybe it did. The person sitting in front of Kurt is no innocent kid, no vulnerable boy. But Kurt tries to look at him a little differently after that day. Maybe him and Blaine weren't so different. Something had been taken away from them both – all because of who they were. Thankfully, Kurt made it through the torture of high school with the help of his dad and his friends. They were loving and supportive and cherished him. Blaine didn't have that – he had his family and a _different_ approach to handling life.

Blaine was a victim of his environment. He wasn't a bad guy – maybe Kurt had thought too harshly of him in the beginning. Now, Kurt was lavished with anything he wanted. Blaine was giving him things he could never have on his own. He hadn't meant to hurt him before. Right?

Kurt was still puzzling over it when a hand running through his hair drew him back to reality.

"Pondering the meaning of life?"

He looks over to see Blaine smiling at him.

"No, thinking about you actually."

"Mmm, well good. Because I was thinking about you and how much I want to ravish you right now."

Blaine stands and extends his hand. Kurt takes it unquestioningly.

He's quick to get Blaine's clothes off as they kiss, making their way to the bedroom. Every time Blaine reaches for Kurt's pants, a strategically placed kiss or bite distracts him away. Kurt has found all of Blaine's weak spots – the places that make him shiver when Kurt laves them with his tongue. They fall less than gracefully on the bed together, breaking their kiss. Kurt nips and sucks his way down Blaine's body, taking Blaine's boxers off and leaving him completely naked. Blaine is sitting up before Kurt can do more than stroke him once or twice.

"No, tonight I want more."

The world flips and suddenly Kurt is on his back, Blaine pushing the shirt up over his head and quickly moving to undo his pants. When they're both naked, Blaine makes his way back up Kurt's body to kiss him more. Kurt tries to reach his hand between them to stroke Blaine, but finds both of his hands being pinned above his head.

"I'm going to take care of you tonight, baby."

Kurt knew his tricks could only last for so long before Blaine would want to get his money's worth out of him. Blaine reaches for the lube, but just sets it on the bed before going back to kissing Kurt. He seems to be in no rush, taking his time to explore Kurt's mouth and then gently kiss down his body. It takes him by surprise when Blaine licks a long stripe up the underside of his dick. Kurt raises his head to look just as Blaine sinks down, engulfing him with his mouth.

A whine escapes and Kurt throws his arm over his eyes. He doesn't want to enjoy this. He reaches for Blaine to pull him back up, wants to say _just do it already_. But then Blaine pulls off with a pop and pushes Kurt's legs up further. He mouths over his balls and then moves lower. There is a moment of hesitation and Kurt pushes the bottle of lube down towards Blaine.

"Hold your legs."

Kurt reaches down and grabs both of his legs, willing himself to relax. His entire body tenses when he feels the breath on his hole. He feels Blaine pulling him further open and then a slow drag of his tongue all the way up to his balls.

The sensation is weird – it feels good, but he's very uncomfortable. The tip of Blaine's tongue slides past the tight ring of muscle and Kurt can't help the squeak that leaves him. Finally, he feels a lubed finger move in alongside Blaine's tongue. Kurt looks down to find himself almost completely hard and he squeezes his eyes shut and lets his head drop to the pillow.

A second finger pushes in, slow and steady, while Blaine sucks a mark where Kurt's thigh met buttock. The fingers move leisurely in and out, twisting and then curling.

"Ah!"

One leg slips from his grasp and he arches off the bed, grabbing desperately at the sheets as Blaine rubs over that spot within him again and again.

The fingers pull out and Kurt has never been so thankful. His misplaced gratitude is short-lived as he feels three fingers push into him. The burn brings him back to reality and he tries to focus his attention on the discomfort, but with the steady twists of Blaine's wrist, the pain ebbs away.

"I could watch you for hours. So fucking hot."

"Blaine…"

"What's it feel like, baby?"

"Full. Good."

He feels Blaine searching for that spot again and he lets go of his other leg to reach down.

"Please…"

Kurt isn't sure exactly what he's begging for. _Please stop making me feel good. Please don't touch me like that. Please just hurt me like I expect you to._

"Okay."

Blaine seems a little disappointed to stop his ministrations, but he removes his fingers and reaches for the lube again.

"Can you…"

Kurt bites his lip and looks sheepishly down at Blaine.

"Can I what?"

"Can you wear a condom?"

Blaine tilts his head to the side and regards Kurt curiously. Immediately Kurt regrets asking because he knows the answer before it comes.

"No."

He can't meet Blaine's gaze, but he feels his stare for another few tense moments before he hears Blaine slicking himself up.

The weight of his body on Kurt's is smothering as he pushes Kurt's knees almost to his chest.

His breathing is already shallow as his face hovers near Kurt's.

"You think I'm dirty?"

Kurt's gaze shoots to meet his immediately. "No! No... it's just messy."

He smiles awkwardly hoping it sounds convincing.

Blaine just grins and then leans down to kiss him. "Don't worry, baby. I'll clean you up."

When he kisses Kurt again, he starts pushing in and Kurt can't help but tense. He feels the pressure, the fullness, but no pain. He closes his eyes and tries to send his mind elsewhere.

"Look at me."

Kurt snaps his eyes open, focusing on Blaine who is staring, not moving.

"Okay."

And then Blaine slowly starts to pull out. When he pushes in again, it feels better and Kurt can't stop the way his legs seem to open a little wider on their own. Blaine smiles at him and starts a steady rhythm. Kurt wants to look away, wants to hide his face in the pillow.

Blaine shifts and suddenly Kurt is on fire. Every thrust elicits a moan as Blaine hits his prostate. He bites the inside of his cheek trying to distract himself from the pleasure.

But then Blaine's hand is around his cock and Kurt comes without warning. Blaine fucks him through it and then smashes their lips together as he comes deep inside Kurt.

Kurt starts counting in his head because if he doesn't he'll think about Blaine's body still heavy against his and the come that will soon leak out of him. He'll think about how gentle Blaine had just been with him and how Kurt just came harder than he's ever come in his life. And he'll think about how ashamed and dirty he feels for enjoying it.

When Blaine pulls back he looks concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

Kurt shakes his head slightly.

"Then why are you crying?"

He reaches up to wipe at his own face, not even realizing that tears were falling.

"I don't know. That was just… intense."

Blaine kisses him again sweetly and pulls back, his softening cock slipping out of Kurt. He heads to the bathroom and Kurt quickly wipes his eyes dry, taking deep breaths to pull himself together.

Blaine returns with a warm washcloth and takes extra care when cleaning Kurt, touching his skin almost reverently. He tosses it on the floor and crawls into bed, pulling the sheet up over them both.

Kurt turns away, curling onto his side. He knows Blaine likes to cuddle though, so he reaches back to bring his arm to rest around him, spooning close.

"You're so beautiful."

Kurt doesn't know what to say in response, so he just pulls Blaine's hand to his mouth and kisses it lightly. He stares at the wall until Blaine's breathing evens out. He closes his eyes, keeping the tears at bay. He'll let himself have a mini-breakdown when he's alone.

For now, he silently begs for sleep so he no longer has to think about how he feels worse now than when Blaine made him bleed. This time, it didn't hurt – he enjoyed it. And he hates himself that much more because of it.

...

The low sound of humming wakes him up. He wipes the sleep from his eyes and stretches as much as he can with Blaine still spooning against him.

"Morning."

Blaine just hums more in response.

Kurt starts to pull away, but Blaine tightens his arm around him.

"I have to—"

"Not yet. Just lay here with me."

Kurt's bladder is less than enthused, but he stays still, waiting for Blaine to resume humming. It's quiet for some time and Kurt wonders if Blaine fell back asleep.

"Am I your first boyfriend?"

Kurt doesn't consider Blaine his boyfriend, but it doesn't matter what Kurt thinks.

"Yes."

"Good."

There's another stretch of silence and Kurt is about to make another move to get out of bed when Blaine speaks up again.

"You know… you're my first boyfriend too."

Kurt remembers Blaine bragging about his sexual experience, so he's not sure what to make of this announcement.

"What? I thought—"

"I've been with several guys. None of them were my boyfriend though. After my father died, Cooper and I had to bond pretty quickly. He's obviously older than me and we were never super close growing up. He wanted to 'make a man out of me' and so he started bringing home these guys. I was still pretty naïve in a lot of ways back then – I thought my brother just had a lot of single friends and I found out pretty quickly that fucking was fun. He thought it was hilarious that I didn't know they were prostitutes. In a drunken stupor one night he just blurted it out and laughed at me for being so stupid."

Kurt lays tense in Blaine's arm, a thousand thoughts swarming through his head.

"But I learned a lot, so I can't fault him for it. I should probably thank him for doing it." Blaine laughs and mouths at Kurt's neck. "You should probably thank him for it too. I've never made someone come so hard that they cried."

Kurt clears his throat. "I doubt I'll be thanking your brother for buying you prostitutes."

Blaine rolls onto his back and laughs heartily. "You're right – it sounds a little awkward when you say it."

He gets out of bed and starts to get dressed.

"I have to work for a while and then I'm going to come back and take you out for dinner."

Kurt does his best to smile. "Okay."

Blaine kisses him with a smack on the lips and is out the door.

Thankfully, Kurt makes it to the bathroom before he lets himself break down.

...

It takes a while, but Kurt pulls himself together. He dismisses Thad, declining to go see his father for the day. This is the most emotional he's been in weeks and seeing his father would make the walls crumble again. When he calls, they tell him there's been no change (just like every other day).

He tries to distract himself by cleaning, but it's rather pointless since a maid service comes twice a week and keeps the place spotless. The contents of the small bookshelf in the living room keep his attention for a short time – most of the books look like they've never been opened.

The boredom is going to drive him mad. He should go somewhere, anywhere, but he just _can't_. His life consists of this apartment, the hospital, and random places with Blaine. For a moment, Kurt panics at the thought of going somewhere else alone. He pushes the panic down and looks desperately for a distraction.

The two rooms at the end of the hall draw his attention. Kurt's never paid them much attention. He knows ones is Cooper's bedroom – though he seemed to only sleep there once or twice a week. Kurt tries the handle of the door on the left. It's locked. He knows it's some sort of office or study. Blaine and Cooper usually spend some time in there on the nights that Cooper is home.

He turns the knob of the other door and finds what he was expecting – Cooper's bedroom. What he didn't expect were the two guns sitting on the nightstand like home décor rather than dangerous weapons. It surprises Kurt how messy the room is, what with its occupant being gone most of the time. He starts to take a step into the room when he hears the front door slam shut. Kurt is frozen in fear for half a second before he pulls the door shut quietly and speedily walks down the hall where he collides directly into Cooper.

"What the fuck?"

"Sorry… sorry. I was just…" Kurt doesn't know what to say, his breathing ragged and an undoubted sheen of sweat forming on his brow.

Cooper is straightening his clothes and staring at Kurt with nothing but ire.

"You were what, plaything? Running down the hall?"

"No."

"Really? Because it looked like you were some place you weren't supposed to be." He crowded Kurt against the wall. "Were you snooping?"

"No, I swear, I was just walking and I didn't see or hear you coming."

"Or maybe you were looking for something."

"I wasn't."

"If I find out you were…"

"I wasn't looking for anything."

"Let's hope not. Nobody likes a meddling whore." He pulls back with a dangerous grin on his face and Kurt immediately puts distance between them. Cooper makes his way to his bedroom and Kurt practically runs to the bathroom. He lays on the floor and presses his cheek against the cool tile trying to stave off a panic attack.

He must've drifted off because the sound of someone knocking on the door causes him to jump.

"Kurt? Why is the door locked?"

He pushes himself up and unlocks the door. When he pulls it open, the irritation on Blaine's face is clear.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing, I was just about to start getting ready for dinner."

"Don't ever lock this door again."

"Okay."

Blaine still looks annoyed, but Kurt just turns to appraise himself in the vanity mirror. One side of his face is red from being pressed against the tile and his hair is going a dozen different directions. He has no idea what conclusion Blaine drew from Kurt's appearance.

"And hurry up, we have dinner reservations."

Kurt puts himself together, numbness included, and walks out to the living room to meet Blaine.

"Good. I'm not in the mood for waiting today. Let's go – Cooper is already downstairs."

Kurt tries to mask any emotion on his face. "Cooper's going?"

"Yah."

"I thought it was just going to be the two of us."

"Cooper never goes out with us. It'll be good for you two to get to know one another better."

A shiver runs down his spine, but he just nods and walks through the open door Blaine held.

Cooper rides in a different car and Kurt breathes a small sigh of relief.

The ride to the restaurant is thankfully quiet. They settle into a private booth and for the first time, Kurt notices the two hulking men nearby who can only be Cooper's bodyguards. Blaine had said before that Cooper never goes anywhere alone, he always needs protection.

"What did you do today?"

Kurt's attention is pulled from the strange men and back to Blaine. "Nothing."

"Well that's not entirely true."

Kurt's body goes rigid and his gaze flicks to his other side where Cooper sits at the round table. He turns to Blaine who stares at him with a furrowed brow.

"What's that mean?"

Looking back and forth between the brothers makes Kurt look guilty. He wishes he were anywhere but trapped in the middle of this round booth.

"Oh, somebody got a little nosey today."

Kurt's mouth falls open slightly and he immediately shakes his head and turns to Blaine. "I didn't. We just ran into each other and—"

"And nothing. He was either back in my room or in your office."

Blaine's eyes bore into him and Kurt is frozen beneath them.

"Did you go back there? Even though I told you those rooms were off limits?"

His head is still shaking and Kurt's not sure if it ever stopped.

"No!"

"Don't lie to me, Kurt."

"I'm not. I wouldn't." He could see Blaine's fist clenching and unclenching at his side.

"You know what happens to people that I care about that lie to me? They get their tongues cut out like our dear friend Thad out there. He lied to me about something very important and I wouldn't kill him because he's close to me and his father was close to my father."

Kurt stares towards the front of the restaurant as if he could actually see Thad. He'd been antagonizing him this whole time because he wouldn't talk… And Blaine did that.

"I swear, Blaine. I didn't go in either room." The terror must be clear on his face and he hopes his pleas are getting through.

The sound of Cooper's laughter confuses both Kurt and Blaine.

"I have no idea if he was even back there. I just caught him all rattled earlier and you know I love to weave a good story."

"Are you fucking kidding me, Coop?"

"Seriously, the look on both your faces was priceless. And I love seeing you get mad, Blainey."

Kurt sits absolutely stunned. Cooper had done this as some sort of sick joke and Blaine made a veiled threat towards Kurt because of it. The whole situation made him want to scream.

Blaine stands up, eyes locked on Cooper. "Kurt, go wait in the car."

Kurt doesn't hesitate to start sliding out of the booth.

"Aw, come on, Blaine. It was a joke. Let's just sit and have dinner."

Blaine reaches for Kurt's shoulder, but the taller boy flinches away before he can make contact and practically sprints out the door.

Kurt can't hear what Blaine says next or any of the patrons in the restaurant. He hears his heart beating loudly in his ears as he bursts through the door and starts running. The car was on the other side of the building and Kurt doesn't even know where he is. He doesn't care. His run slows to a brisk walk and then he stops completely. When choosing his outfit for the evening, he hadn't anticipated running several city blocks at night. The wind whips against him and he curses himself for leaving his jacket back at the restaurant. His thin sweater and skintight pants do nothing to help. He leans against a streetlight, wraps his arms around himself, and cries.

"You lost, little one?"

The man seems to appear out of nowhere. He reeks of alcohol and it's fairly obvious he's homeless.

"No, I'm fine."

Kurt starts to walk back the way he came.

"Wait, I won't hurt you. I have blankets and you look cold."

He turns to address the man and sees what appears to be an earnest expression on his face. The man is older, unkempt and dirty, but has kind eyes.

"Thank you, but really, I'm fine. I should get back."

The man closes the short distance between them and Kurt instinctually backs up until he feels the building behind him.

Kurt looks nervously at the man that is far too close now.

"Your face…" The man brings his hand up as if to touch Kurt, but stops short. "You remind me of my son."

Kurt can't help but smile sadly at that. Who knows where this man's son was or if he's even real. He is about to ask something when he sees a shadow in his peripheral vision.

Suddenly, it's so loud and then his ears are ringing. He doesn't know what happened, but then the man is on the ground and Kurt sees the dark splatter all over his white sweater.

His world gets a little choppy from there.

Blaine is there.

They're in a car.

No.

He's being carried.

It's so bright.

He wants his dad.

He's swimming.

So tired.

Someone is calling him.

But it's dark now and he's warm.

So warm.

He has to focus. Focus. Damnit, _focus_.

He's sitting on the bed wearing his favorite pajama pants and one of Blaine's old t-shirts. The throbbing in his head only seems to be getting worse, but it helps him focus.

"My head…"

He starts to lift his hand only to find them clasped tightly in Blaine's who is kneeling on the floor in front of him.

"I know, baby. Just stay awake for a little while longer and we'll get something for the pain."

His eyelids are so heavy now. Kurt can see other people in the room, but doesn't recognize them.

"What happened?"

"You hit your head. You need a couple stitches now so just stay very still and keep looking at me, okay?"

"How did I hit my head?"

Kurt stares at Blaine who seems to have a war of emotions on his face.

"You fainted. And in the battle of concrete versus Kurt Hummel, concrete won."

Kurt feels pressure on his head, hands touching him, but he can't feel what they are actually doing. He's numb all over, his throbbing headache the only thing he can feel.

"I ran."

"Yes, you ran. You shouldn't have done that. I told you to go to the car."

"I'm going to die."

Blaine breaks their gaze and turns to someone else. "Is he okay?"

"It's the shock. He'll be fine."

"I'm right here. Don't talk about me."

Blaine looks back to him and smiles. "I know, baby. Just making sure."

"It was cold. You were right about needing a jacket, but I left it."

"I got your jacket. Don't worry."

"Not worried."

Kurt looks down at the grey t-shirt he's wearing and blinks several times trying to focus on it.

"The man…"

"He's not here."

"I know… because you shot him. Right?"

Blaine secures him with a hard look. "Yes."

"You didn't have to do that. He was just trying to help."

"He was trying to touch what was mine."

"He didn't. He said I reminded him of his son. He wanted to keep me warm."

"He was going to hurt you."

Kurt shakes his head and realizes the hands are no longer touching him. Tears start to well in his eyes. "You killed him and he didn't do anything. You killed him for nothing."

Blaine tries to wipe at Kurt's eyes, but his hand is batted away. Kurt pulls at his own shirt.

"And his blood is all over me."

"No, it's not. I cleaned you up."

"Yes it is. Get it off, get it off!"

Kurt tries to stand, but is unbalanced as a newborn foal. Blaine holds him tightly as Kurt sobs and sways slightly. He hears people talking, but his head just hurts so badly and he can't stop crying. Blaine shifts him around and Kurt feels a pinch on his arm. He's lowered so carefully to the bed, Blaine trying to soothe him with words and touches. Kurt's whole body feels heavy and as he succumbs to the darkness, his last thought is _'I killed him.'_

...


	7. Chapter 7

**_"It's too late to be good." – Lucky Luciano_**

It seems like an endless loop. Darkness and horror and fear – he can't wake from the nightmare. He dreams of his father at the beach, but it's no longer sunny. There is no laughter, no playing children. Warm arms still surround him, smothering now instead of comforting. His father yells in the distance, but Kurt can't get to him. The arms tighten around his chest and neck. He can't breathe—

Kurt wakes up, kicking and gasping for air. His shirt is soaked with sweat and he's crying.

"Shh, lay back down. It's okay."

Kurt jumps back when he hears the voice, gracelessly falling to the floor – the pain in his hip now matching that in his head. Blaine gazes down at him, a concerned expression on his face.

Kurt looks to the bathroom and then to the bedroom door. He starts to scramble further from the bed.

"Stop."

Kurt has no choice but to look back at Blaine. He feels pinned by the scowl across Blaine's face. Kurt focuses on his breathing, counting in his head to help him calm down.

"Come back up here."

His head shakes minutely before he can stop it and then his eyes go wide. He can't say no to Blaine, but he's paralyzed with fear. Bits and pieces from the night before start putting themselves together in his head. The restaurant… and he ran… and it was so cold. And then…

Blaine killed someone. He shot him right there on the street.

"I need… I'm going to be sick."

Kurt turns himself over, hunched on hands and knees.

"You're fine. Take some deep breaths and get back in bed."

The tone leaves no room for argument.

He allows himself a few shaky cries before he grabs for the bed to help pull himself up. His body rolls onto the edge of the bed, settling with his back to Blaine. After a few seconds, Blaine sighs and pulls at Kurt's body until he turns over, body tucked against Blaine's side, head on his chest.

"Now shh. I want you to calm down."

"I—"

"No. Just be quiet. You had a rough night and you need to rest."

Blaine's hands ran up and down his back and arm making his skin crawl. Kurt tries to focus on just breathing and pulling himself together. This is Blaine's idea of comfort, but Kurt couldn't feel any less at ease.

His breathing eventually evens out and his body becomes less rigid.

"There now. Much better."

Blaine shifts slightly, reaching across to the nightstand.

"Here, take these. They're for the pain – I'm sure your head is still pounding."

Kurt props himself up on his elbow and takes the proffered pills. The cool water as he swallows the pills feels like such relief to his still overheated body.

"Let's just lie down for a bit more."

Kurt rests his head back on Blaine. The gentle rise and fall of his chest is strangely soothing. His eyelids become heavier and heavier and he tries blinking owlishly to keep them open. His headache starts to subside, but with it the edges of his vision start to blur. Defenseless against it, he drifts to sleep.

...

When he wakes again, two thoughts immediately come to him. First, he hadn't had any more nightmares. And second, he's alone in bed. The panic he felt earlier no longer boiled over, subdued like the rest of his emotions. He staggers to his feet and makes his way into the kitchen, gulping down two glasses of water. It feels like his thirst will never be quenched. He grabs a Gatorade from the fridge and resolves to crawl back into bed for the rest of the day.

Two steps into the living room, he gasps and drops the plastic bottle. Somehow he'd missed the figure sitting completely still on the couch when he'd headed into the kitchen.

"Hello, Kurt."

"Wes? What are you doing here?"

Kurt had only met the man twice before, their interactions limited to a handful of words.

"I'm here to ensure your safety."

He can't help the bitter laugh that leaves him. "My safety?"

"Yes." The man did not move. His face betrayed no emotion.

"And who exactly are you keeping me safe from?"

"Yourself."

The glare drops from Kurt's face, replaced with confusion. "Excuse me?"

"Blaine thinks you might do something stupid."

"Like hurt myself? The only person who's hurt me is your boss."

"Nevertheless, I'll be staying for a while."

"Lovely. Now I'm a prisoner that needs to be babysat."

Wes doesn't respond, instead looking down and tapping at his phone.

"You can tell your boss I'm going to shower now. I'll try not to drown myself."

Kurt picks up the bottle of Gatorade and stalks back to the bedroom. He shuts himself in the bathroom, but finds that the locked doorknob had been replaced with a plain one. He lets his forehead fall forward against the door, immediately regretting it when the move reminds him of the pain still there.

He's exhausted as he steps under the spray. The water can't seem to get hot enough. The washcloth doesn't scrub hard enough. His raw skin isn't clean enough. He slides down, head resting against the tiles, and cries until the water is cold.

For half a second, he does think about killing himself. He'd fooled himself into believing that Blaine was a victim of his upbringing; that he had good in him. Kurt had no idea how wrong he would be.

He shakes the negative thoughts away and pulls himself up and out of the shower. He throws on some half decent clothes and combs his hair, careful to avoid the stitches on the side.

When he walks into the living room, Wes is in the exact same spot still fiddling with his phone.

"I want to go see my father."

Wes doesn't even look up. "No."

"Yes. Now."

"Not today."

"You can't stop me." Kurt starts walking towards the door, Wes not even moving from his spot.

"I will physically restrain you if I have to. But I'm fairly certain you don't want me to do that."

He's heard Blaine talk about Wes and his physical abilities. Kurt knows it would be a highly unbalanced match to fight against him.

"Then just take me to my father. I need to see him."

"Not like this you don't. You're not in an appropriate emotional state to be venturing out right now. You can sit," he gestured to the chair opposite him, "and calm yourself down before Blaine gets home."

Kurt glares, weighing his options, and then slowly makes his way to the chair. Wes turns his attention back to his phone and Kurt can do nothing but watch.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what, Kurt?"

"Work for him. Kill for him."

"We all have a part to play in this world."

"You make it sound like no big deal. Like you don't ruin lives."

"You have no idea what we do, Kurt. The snippets of info you hear mixed with the Hollywood portrayals of people like us – you don't understand."

"I understand perfectly."

Wes stands and pockets his phone.

"You're just leaving now? Suicide watch over?"

"You should get some sleep. Don't be awake when he gets home."

"What? Why?"

"Just be careful, Kurt."

"Be careful of what?"

"If you push him too far, you'll regret it."

"What's he going to do – kill me?"

"No." Wes fixes him with a somber look. "He'll kill the people you love."

All of the color drains from Kurt's face and he can only stare at Wes' retreating form. This entire time, Kurt thought the worst thing that Blaine could do was kill him. The words repeat in his head as he fixes his gaze on a loose thread on the rug.

He meanders back to the bedroom, stripping down to his underwear, and burrowing under the covers. His body is still exhausted, but this time sleep eludes him.

The front door shuts and Kurt steadies his breathing, lays perfectly still. He hears Blaine come into the room and then leave shortly after. Blaine doesn't come to bed that night.

...

At some point, he's able to drift into a fitful sleep, only to be awakened by an insistent banging on the front door. When it's obvious the person won't stop, he hobbles out of bed, comforter wrapped tightly around him.

He's not expecting to see Thad on the other side of the door.

"What's going on?"

Thad jerks his head to the side.

"I can see my dad?"

He nods and Kurt could not be more thankful.

A rushed shower and quick change later, Kurt is being driven to the hospital.

He's trying not to stare, but he can't help but look at Thad differently. The other man probably has no idea that Kurt just found out about his … injury. There is a slight look of resignation on his face and Kurt wonders how many of the people in this 'family' are actually happy to be here.

Kurt feels subdued, but he can't blame it the hangover feeling in his head or the past few days. He's emotionally exhausted and walking into his father's hospital room does nothing to help.

Kurt doesn't talk to his father this visit. Instead, he rests his cheek against the large, but familiar palm, and stares at his father's slack face.

Time passes and it's blissfully silent save the machines his father is still attached to. Even they seem calming. Kurt is grateful because all he wants is to feel the smallest comfort between parent and child. He wants his father to wake up and ruffle his hair so Kurt can scowl at him appropriately. He wants his father to chastise him for not taking better care of himself. He wants him to call him 'kiddo' and tell him how much he is loved.

He wants his _dad_.

When the doctor comes in, Kurt's anger bursts out before he can even think.

"Why isn't he waking up?"

"Mr. Hummel, we have every reason to believe that he will."

"I don't care what you believe. I want to know why he is still in a coma after a heart attack."

"He didn't just have a heart attack. He went into cardiac arrest. And frankly, he's lucky to be alive especially since this was his second heart attack."

"Lucky? He's laid here for weeks and you're not doing anything to help him. I didn't have him moved here so he could just rot away."

"I assure you we're providing the best medical care available. We run tests—"

"I don't care about your tests. I want you to make him better!"

Kurt didn't realize he was screaming until two nurses come into the room looking concerned. He covers his mouth in shock and flees without another word.

...

Time seems to pass frustratingly slow, the minutes taunting him as they tick by. And with each one, Kurt's hope dwindles.

He thinks that he may end up being with Blaine forever.

He's gotten better with the mask he wears – the one that hides his feelings. Though it feels less like a mask and more like the real him. He doesn't have any more outbursts, he doesn't cry.

Blaine is gone for two days, probably purposely avoiding being home, but he always sends someone to watch over Kurt. The first day it's Wes again who sits quietly and only speaks when spoken to. The second day it's Thad, who obviously stays silent, and seems completely on edge being in the apartment. Kurt ignores them both.

He declines to go see his father. He's smart enough to know that the longer his father is in the coma, the less chance he has of waking up. His visits feel like goodbye now and it's getting harder to handle. Maybe tomorrow.

It feels like he's giving up, like he's lost every bit of fight in him.

So he takes the pills left for him, one in the morning and one at night. He flits between sleep and consciousness – sometimes it's hard to tell the difference anymore.

His mind never shuts off though. He can't stop thinking.

There's nothing but silence and avoidance and solitude.

And then everything is suddenly clearer.

He has no friends. His father his only family. Kurt has nothing but Blaine. And Blaine will take care _of_ him and care _for_ him.

He is Blaine's.

The resignation in that thought is strangely freeing.

He pulls himself together, cleans himself up, and resolves to be better.

When he walks into the living room, it's late. Blaine is watching a re-run of some cheesy Bravo show that he'll never actually admit to liking. As he notices Kurt, he reaches for the remote to turn the TV off. Kurt's mind isn't entirely clear, but it's the most lucid he's been in days. The lingering fuzziness gives him the courage he needs.

"Can we talk?"

Blaine surveys him, taking his time to answer, and Kurt is desperately afraid of being rejected.

"We can talk about anything except that night."

Kurt feels disappointed, knows that he will have to get Blaine to talk about it eventually. The air between them is heavy with things left unsaid. He feels awkward, lonely, and afraid. Blaine hasn't touched him since he freaked out – hasn't even talked to him until now.

Fearing even more rejection, he defaults to the only connection he thinks they have - physical.

He walks slowly to the couch and curls himself against Blaine's side.

"Thank you for coming home."

He doesn't know if Blaine purposely gave him space or if other matters just occupied his time. Either way, Kurt is grateful and this is the only person he can express that gratitude towards. This is the only person he has.

Kurt lifts his head and meets Blaine's ever-guarded eyes. He leans forward and presses their lips together. His hand gently guides Blaine's head to the side and timidly licks at Blaine's lips. There is no hesitation as Blaine kisses back. This is the first time Kurt has initiated anything between them and it feels different. Kurt runs his fingers through Blaine's curls, tugging and dominating the kiss. They have no choice but to eventually pull back, panting together.

Kurt stands and reaches out for Blaine. This is him succumbing to his fate.

"Come to bed."

They tumble into bed still kissing and completely naked in record time, no slow build, no teasing.

Blaine pulls away, tosses the lube to Kurt, and leans against the headboard.

"I want to see you get yourself ready."

Kurt catches his breath and then pulls himself up on his knees. He coats two fingers and reaches back, eyes still locked on Blaine's. His eyes flutter as he pushes them in, twisting and bending to stretch himself. He adds a third finger and he knows he needs more lube, but he feels a strange sense of urgency. He _needs_ Blaine.

Kurt starts to turn his body, positioning himself on hands and knees, but Blaine grabs at his leg.

"No. Come here."

He scurries up the bed and lets Blaine pull him until he's straddling his lap. The light in the room is dim, but Blaine has never looked at him with such want.

Blaine pours some lube on his hand, quickly slicking himself up.

"I want you to ride me."

Kurt's eyes go wide and he gets nervous, eyes skittering over Blaine's face. He's never done it like this before, never been the one in control.

Blaine scoots down the bed slightly leaving Kurt hovering over him.

"Show me how much you want it, baby."

Kurt can feel how hard Blaine is beneath him. He also sees how hard his own dick is.

He moves his hips back and forth, feeling the head of Blaine's cock rub up and down between his cheeks.

It takes a couple minor adjustments before he's lined up perfectly and slowly inching down, the heat of Blaine's cock in his hand as he guides it in is unlike anything he's ever felt.

When he's bottomed out, completely filled, Kurt rests both hands against Blaine's chest and just breathes.

Blaine's grip is hard on his hips and when Kurt opens his eyes, Blaine looks wrecked.

Kurt lifts himself up an inch and then lowers himself again. He keeps moving more and more until he gets a steady rhythm going. Blaine's moans cause Kurt to open his eyes. He's never seen Blaine fall apart like this. The control he has in this moment is intoxicating and he throws his head back as he increases the pace. The burn in his thighs is getting worse, but he can feel his orgasm building.

Blaine lets out a choked sound and then pulls Kurt down hard as his cock pulses deep within him. Kurt strokes himself twice and then he's coming hard, clenching around Blaine and eliciting another moan.

He slumps forward for a kiss and Blaine holds him there, cock still buried deep.

"So fucking hot, baby. You're so perfect for me."

Blaine's babbling and still breathing hard.

Kurt feels taken care of. He's tired of fighting the only person he has left. Sleep takes him, still filled and surrounded by Blaine.

...

He doesn't get the courage to ask again for another two days. But things have been good between them. Kurt feels like he's found his place and Blaine seems happy. He doesn't want to ruin anything, but he can't let this go.

The door closes and he feels a kiss placed on the top of his head. When Blaine comes into view, he smiles apprehensively.

"Feeling better?"

Kurt looks up with tired eyes. "A little."

He's still having headaches and trying to deal with them without sleeping all day. Blaine furrows his brow and disappears for a moment. When he returns, he crouches beside Kurt and holds his hand out with two pills.

Kurt meets his gaze and shakes his head.

"If you're hurting, take these pills."

"No."

Irritation flashes in Blaine's eyes. "Are you refusing to take them to spite me?"

Kurt continues to stare, so afraid to say the wrong thing or start crying.

"I don't want to sleep. I want to talk."

Blaine still looks cross, but he sets the pills and water on the coffee table. He sits across from Kurt and throws his hands up. "Then talk."

"That night…"

Blaine sighs and leans forward. When he doesn't say anything, Kurt continues.

"You killed that man. I just need to know why."

"Why are we even talking about this?"

"Just tell me."

"I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Please." His voice cracks and he knows the tears are not far off.

"He was in the wrong place at the wrong time touching the wrong person."

"But didn't you even hear what we were talking about?"

"No. I saw him pinning you against the wall, I got out of the car, and I pointed the fucking gun at his head."

"You can't just go around killing anyone that gets close to me."

"I can do whatever I want."

"Will you kill _me_ if I do something that upsets you?"

"You're upsetting me now, Kurt!"

"I just- I'm afraid. I don't want to be afraid."

"Afraid of what? Me? You have nothing to be afraid of as long as you do what you're supposed to do. You know why that man is dead? Because you disobeyed me. You ran… ran right to him. And I blew his fucking brains out because of it."

Kurt covers his gaping mouth, stunned into silence. He knew it was his fault, but he hadn't pulled the trigger. Kurt didn't want the man to die, but Blaine was right. If Kurt hadn't run down that street or stopped at that spot, the man would still be alive.

His body slumps, completely defeated.

"Are you done now? Got all your questions out?"

Tears fill his vision and his bottom lip quivers.

"I-I can't get it out of my h-head." He buries his face in his hands, words coming out muffled with his sobs.

Blaine moves and kneels in front of Kurt, pulling him into an embrace. "It's okay."

"I can still f-feel his blood on me and I see h-his face. I'm so, so sorry."

Blaine leans him back, forcing Kurt's hands away where they cover his face. "It's okay, baby. I forgive you."

Kurt's face crumples again and he shakes his head back and forth, continuing to cry. He wasn't apologizing to Blaine; he was apologizing to the innocent man that died because of him. But hearing Blaine's words feels like absolution.

"Just don't do it again. We don't want anyone else to get hurt, right?"

He manages to stop the flow of tears and nods against Blaine's shoulder. Kurt remembers what Wes had said and he knows he wouldn't survive it if something he did resulted in his father's death. His father could go in his own time, but not by Blaine's hand.

Kurt lets himself be held until he feels semi-composed. He wipes his face with his t-shirt.

"It wasn't always this easy for me, you know."

Kurt makes a sound to acknowledge him, but no, he doesn't know.

"The first time I had to kill someone I thought I was going to throw up."

Kurt blanches and keeps his head down.

"But people were looking to me. Looking for leadership and I had to prove that I was that leader. I never thought at eighteen that I'd be holding a gun to a man's head, listening to him sob and beg for his life."

He shrugs like he's talking about a trip to the grocery store.

"I think I just learned to turn off my conscience that day. He deserved to die and it didn't matter that he had a wife and kids. I put a bullet in his head and then I got back to business."

It's quiet for several long minutes after that. Kurt doesn't know what to say and Blaine seems lost in his own thoughts. It's eerie sitting in the dark room, the sun long set, with nothing but the city lights shining through.

Blaine chuckles beside him and Kurt looks at him baffled.

"Our first big fight. It was bound to happen eventually."

Kurt lets out a laugh as well. But it's bitter, sad. Blaine thinks they just had a spat like any normal couple. No second thought given to a conversation about murder.

He reaches with a trembling hand to the pills on the coffee table. If he wants to keep some semblance of his sanity, he needs to be numb for a little while longer.

Blaine looks at him fondly. "Want to go to bed?"

Kurt swallows the pills and nods.

He doesn't resist when Blaine leads him to the bed, lifts his arms and legs as Blaine undresses him, and lets Blaine kiss him deeply. Kurt feels the numbness creeping in and he smiles madly. His limbs feel heavy as Blaine directs them the way he wants. Kurt barely feels it as Blaine uses his body hard and fast. There are things whispered in his ear, but it sounds like he's underwater and he can't make them out. He doesn't care about the mess or the heat now spooned against his back.

He is numb and crazy and broken.

Finally broken.

...


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: warning for dub-con that some would consider non-con in this chapter**

...

**_"This life of ours, this is a wonderful life. If you can get through life like this and get away with it, hey, that's great. But it's very, very unpredictable. There's so many ways you can screw it up." - Paul Castellano_**

Kurt takes everything in stride. Finally, he knows exactly what to do to keep Blaine happy. And that's all he has to do. There's no more shame, no pride keeping him from being what Blaine wants. In his own way, Blaine cares. Kurt is sure of it.

He doesn't keep track of the days anymore. Every second or third day, he'll go see his father. The visits are shorter and shorter each time. It's hard to see the body lying in that bed as the man who raised him. He's too skinny, too pale. When Kurt leaves every day, he says goodbye as if it's the last time. One of these days, it will be and it will be for the best.

With Thanksgiving upon them, Kurt is thankful that he'll have someone to take care of him when his father is really gone. Kurt doesn't have anyone else. Blaine says he doesn't need anyone else and Blaine is always right.

Blaine wants to either forgot the holiday completely or order food from a local restaurant. Kurt begs and bargains until Blaine finally gives in and agrees to let him cook. It's an all day affair – basting and baking and mixing and making. They finally settle into the formal dining room mid-afternoon, turkey and all the trimmings covering the table. Cooper is there of course, with one of his bodyguards - even Wes was able to make it. Kurt wonders where Thad is, but he doesn't ask. If Blaine wanted him here, he'd be here.

"Who knew you bought a veritable Betty Crocker, Blainey?" Cooper smacks his brother on the shoulder playfully.

"Fucking call me that again and you'll be eating at the diner down the street."

Cooper still makes Kurt nervous, but they just seem to stay out of each other's way now. Blaine doesn't want unneeded drama. Kurt wants what Blaine wants, so he shrugs the comment off. There's no need for his snarky response.

Kurt's content to sit in his seat, watching everyone around the table, just taking it all in.

"You're quiet today."

He looks to Blaine and smiles. "Just thinking."

"You thinking about pulling the plug on ol' pops?"

Kurt pales and turns to Cooper. "What?"

"Ignore him. Coop, shut the fuck up."

"Hey, just making some light dinner conversation." Cooper winks at Kurt, shoving a giant piece of turkey in his mouth.

Somehow Cooper always knows just the right buttons to push. Kurt gives a shaky smile to Blaine and tries to shrug it off.

The guys talk about football and Kurt has absolutely nothing to add to the conversation, but he's oddly pleased to see them all so animated about something other than _business_. Wes actually laughs at some comment Blaine makes about one of the teams that played earlier. Kurt tries to remember if he's ever seen Wes laugh before.

They eat and they eat and they eat some more. Kurt didn't think it was possible for such a small group to eat so much. As he stands to start clearing the plates, he hears his phone ring from the bedroom. He looks to Blaine whose gaze is already on him.

"Ignore it."

Kurt nods. "I'm sure it's a wrong number anyway."

He clears the table with Wes and Blaine's help and then rolls up his sleeves to start the dishes.

When he hears his phone ring again, he rolls his eyes and heads to the bedroom.

"What are you doing?"

Blaine is reclined on the couch, confused look on his face.

Kurt keeps walking, shaking his head as if annoyed. "I'm just going to turn it off. It's probably the same idiot that called the other day twice asking for Antoine."

It's not.

...

The words have to settle in his brain before he can even think of standing from where he immediately plopped onto the bed.

He clutches the phone in a death grip. It's not that he didn't understand what she said; it just doesn't make any sense.

Blaine yells for him from the other room and that shakes him out of his thoughts.

When he rejoins the group, he looks around at each of the men sitting spread out in the room as if they hold some answer.

"I need to go to the hospital."

"What? Why?" Blaine's face conveys both concern and suspicion.

"I think… My dad's waking up."

Wes and Cooper both immediately look to Blaine whose face has lost any trace of concern.

"No." Kurt just stares at him. "Not today."

"Didn't you hear me? My dad—"

"I fucking heard you. I'm not deaf. You spent a lot of time on today and I want us to enjoy the rest of it. We haven't had dessert yet and there's a huge mess in the kitchen."

Cooper chuckles and Wes looks away.

Blaine holds out his hand and Kurt walks automatically to him. He reaches to take the hand, but Blaine grabs for Kurt's phone instead.

"I'll tell the hospital we'll be there tomorrow."

Kurt nods and walks to the kitchen. He turns the water back on in the sink and starts scrubbing the first pan. The water is steaming hot, but he doesn't really feel it. His thoughts distract him and he gets everything clean on autopilot.

How could his father be waking up? It's been over two months.

When Kurt's done cleaning, his hands are bright red and shaking. He clasps them together and can feel a twinge of pain there. Blaine calls his name again and he goes. He pulls his shirtsleeves down slightly over his hands and sits down on the couch next to Blaine. An arm pulls him close and he cuddles in without hesitation.

When their guests have left and Cooper has retired to his own room, Kurt blinks blearily at Blaine and lets himself be led to bed. He's so tired – a combination of cooking all day and not being able to shut off his thoughts. After practically sleepwalking through his skincare routine and brushing his teeth, he crawls into bed. His head hasn't even hit the pillow when Blaine flips and pins him on his stomach.

"Blaine?"

The bite to his neck is a surprise. Blaine hard and rolling his hips down is not.

Kurt can feel the anger in Blaine's touch, but he's not sure what he did wrong.

Blaine wraps one arm around his chest, the other roughly pushing his underwear down. He has to shift off Kurt to get them far enough down to where he wants them.

The arm around Kurt's chest doesn't leave, even as Blaine fumbles one handedly with the lube.

Kurt will stay just how Blaine wants him. Doesn't he know that?

A leg hooks over Kurt's, spreading him as much as the underwear still around his knees will allow. And then there are two fingers pushing into him roughly. He gasps and tries to make eye contact with Blaine. The room is dimly lit, but Kurt can still see the dark, angry look on Blaine's face. He wants to tell him that they don't have to rush, Kurt will do whatever he wants, but he stays quiet and just tries to relax.

A third finger joins the two steadily pumping into his hole and Kurt tries to spread himself wider. The three fingers are removed quicker than Kurt is expecting and then Blaine's weight is back on him. Blaine's arm has slipped up to Kurt's collar, hand wrapping around the side of his neck. There's one quick thrust and Blaine is fully sheathed in him. Kurt lets out a noise somewhere between surprise and pain.

Blaine starts moving, seeming to put as much force into each thrust that he can. His arm wraps more tightly around Kurt's throat, almost using it as leverage to pull himself forward harder and deeper.

Kurt wiggles a hand out from where it's trapped beneath him and grabs at Blaine's arm. It squeezes more causing Kurt to panic.

"Blaine!" He's already panting from the heavy weight on him and the force of Blaine's thrusts.

"Tell me you want me."

"You know I do."

"Say it!" He sounds almost animalistic.

"I want you! Want you so bad."

Blaine's arm uncurls, his hand moving to grip the sensitive skin at the front of Kurt's throat. He doesn't squeeze, but the pressure is firm.

"Say you're mine."

"Yours."

It comes out as a whisper and Kurt's not sure if Blaine can hear it. The hand on his throat is pulling him back, causing him to arch his back in order to take even the slightest breath. But then Blaine's leaning forward, panting in his ear, and he's trapped between the two opposite pressures.

"Such a slut for me. You take it so well."

"Blaine… please. All yours."

Blaine slams in one final time, pulling Kurt back against him as he arches with his orgasm. He pulls his arm back, letting Kurt fall forward to the pillow, breathing hard to catch his breath. Blaine settles his palm at the nape of Kurt's neck, holding him down and propping himself up. He thrusts a few more times and Kurt can feel the slippery mess as Blaine pushes his come in and out.

He finally slumps over, removing the heavy weight, and Kurt focuses on taking deep breaths. When he turns his head to Blaine's side of the bed, it's not anger he sees in Blaine's eyes. It's desperation.

He pulls his underwear up over the mess and his still soft cock and crawls into Blaine's arms.

"I'm sorry." It's a blanket apology since he's not sure what he's done. But it was the right thing to say because Blaine holds him closer and kisses the top of his head.

He'll be better tomorrow.

...

He's not sure if he actually slept or not. His mind couldn't shut off and his throat was sore.

He gets up with the sun, showers, and gets ready like usual. In a little while, he'll go see his dad. But for now, he sits in the living room and stares out the window, waiting for Blaine to rouse.

It doesn't take long.

Blaine is normally the first one up. He explained to Kurt once that he never slept for long – felt like it was time wasted in his day.

So when he comes into the room looking tired and rumpled, Kurt looks up in anticipation. Blaine wipes the sleep from his eyes and watches Kurt at the window.

"Why are you up so early?"

The question catches him off guard. "My dad. You said we would go see him today."

"I didn't mean at the butt crack of dawn."

"I can just have Thad take me if you have work stuff."

Blaine ignores him, walking into the kitchen. When he returns with a glass of juice, he looks much more awake.

"No, I'll take you."

Kurt stares. Waits.

"Fine, let me go take a shower and then we can go."

Alone in the room again, Kurt gets lost in his thoughts.

...

The drive over is quiet and as the hospital comes into view, Kurt finally starts to get nervous.

He didn't ask a lot of questions of the nurse yesterday – just assumed they would rush over and get the info then. What if his dad wasn't really his _dad_?

With each step, his heart beats a little faster, his hand fidgets in Blaine's, and he lets himself hope for the best.

"I'll wait out here. Give you some time."

Kurt gives Blaine a confused look. "What?"

"I can talk to the doctors. You just go in there and see him."

He nods his head and reaches for the door. When the bed comes into view, he sees the same sight he's seen for months now – his father, pale and sleeping. It takes a few moments for him to notice the differences. His father is sitting more upright, there's a tray of juice next to his bed, and the cannula is no longer on his father's face.

Kurt walks quietly and sits next to the bed. He takes his father's hand and gives it a light squeeze.

"Dad?"

Burt's eyes slowly flutter open and try to focus.

"Kurt…"

And that's all it takes for Kurt to completely break down. The tears flow, he lets out little hiccupped sobs, and he holds onto his father desperately.

"It's okay… I'm okay…"

Kurt nods and stares at his dad's face through bleary eyes. His dad still looks so tired and his words are coming slower.

"I shouldn't have woken you up. You probably need your rest."

He's surprised when his dad tries to laugh, coming out more like a cough.

"I think I'm all rested up."

They sit there for a long time in silence, just staring at each other. Despite his earlier joke, Kurt watches as Burt slowly drifts back to sleep. He continues to watch, holds his dad's hand so gently, and tries to convince himself this isn't a dream.

Gail comes in to check on things and beams down at Kurt.

"I told you. It just took a little time."

Kurt tries to smile, but he's sure it comes off more awkward than anything. The tears start to fall again, so Gail just continues to talk.

"He'll be tired a lot at first. We're going to have to slowly reintroduce him to solid foods, get his body moving again. Doctor says he'll make a full recovery."

"How much longer will he be here?"

"We'll continue to monitor him. It all depends on the progress he makes on the goals we set for him. You'll be the first to know."

"Good. I'll be here every day from now on." He looks up at her guiltily.

"That will help a lot. Your name was the first word out of his mouth when he fully woke up last night."

This makes Kurt cry harder. He'd almost completely given up on his father waking up and wasn't here when he finally did.

Gail seems to understand and rubs his shoulder. "Being here for him now is just what he needs."

When she leaves, Kurt can see Blaine pacing in the hallway. He stands and kisses his father's forehead.

"I promise you, I'll be back tomorrow."

He writes a short note expressing the same and then walks out the door. Blaine looks at him anxiously and holds out his hand. Kurt readily takes it and they make their way back to the car.

On the drive home, Blaine tells him everything that the doctor had to share. His dad's oxygen levels are good, he has slow reaction times, but that's expected. They're going to get him into physical therapy; the feeding tube is going to be removed. All positive things.

Kurt is so happy.

Blaine's mood seems to swing on a pendulum. One minute he's angry about the smallest thing and then he's laughing and kissing Kurt silly. It's a lot for Kurt to handle in addition to all that's going on with his dad.

He takes it one step at a time – sometimes one minute at a time.

It's all he can do.

...

When he visits his dad the next day, Burt is sitting up and smiling as Gail checks him over. The smile only widens when he see's Kurt.

"Hey kiddo."

The simple words tug at his heartstrings. His dad sounds so much clearer, stronger. Kurt can't help but throw his arms around him in a huge hug. Burt groans and Kurt immediately jumps back apologizing.

"It's fine. Just sore. That damn therapy lady came by this morning and gave me all sorts of pushing and pulling and lifting tests. Something about a treatment plan. Whatever it is I gotta do to get home, I'll do it."

"Well don't overdo it. I don't know if anyone told you, but your heart stopped and you were in a coma for more than two months."

Kurt gives him a pointed look and they stare for a few moments before one starts laughing and the other joins in.

"Good thing I have you here to tell me all about what I missed."

Kurt does just that – answering everything his dad asks starting with football and the shop. Answers start to come a little less easily when the topic of school comes up. Talking about him withdrawing to get a tuition refund leads them to how Burt ended up at such a nice hospital - which all eventually leads to Blaine.

He didn't really think ahead of time what he would tell his dad, so it comes out jumbled, awkward. After all, the story of how they got to this point has to be changed, filled with half-truths and outright lies.

Blaine is his boyfriend. Yes, they were dating before his dad's heart attack. No, he wasn't embarrassed to tell his father, but the relationship wasn't to that point yet. Blaine works in finance and he's been helping Kurt out including paying Burt's hospital bills.

Kurt's sweating like this is an interrogation. He's so afraid of contradicting one lie with another.

"So, this Blaine kid. He's a stand-up guy?"

Blaine has kept his word this whole time – he's taken care of Burt since Kurt has come to stay with him. Kurt rationalizes that that makes him a pretty stand-up guy. It's not like he can say otherwise.

"Yes, dad. Can you stop the twenty questions about him now?"

"Hey, I just want to know a little bit about the guy that my son is dating. If he cares about you enough to support you and pay for my hospital bills, things have gotta be pretty serious with him."

Kurt hates lying to his father. He dreads when this situation is over and he may have to tell his father more.

A thought pops into his head and then eludes him just as quickly. It's right there – just out of reach and he can't remember what it was.

He's starting to get a headache and he rubs a hand across his brow.

"Look, Kurt, I didn't mean to push."

His head pops up. "No, I'm just tired."

"Go home. Or back to Blaine's. Or wherever you need to go. I'll still be here tomorrow."

He gives his dad a smile of gratitude and a hug goodbye.

At Kurt's request, Thad drives him to his house in the suburbs. During the drive there, Kurt just feels more and more confused. He'd resigned himself to one fate and now things were going to be completely different. For the first time in weeks, he thought about his stay with Blaine coming to an end.

Kurt doesn't have a house key on him – can't even remember what he's done with it. Thankfully, the Johnsons next door have been keeping an eye on the place since his father went into the hospital. They greet him with a smile and are taken aback by the good news. When they let him into the house, he immediately feels at ease.

This is his home.

He can't believe how long he's been away from it. He can't believe he ever left.

There's a reason he came here now though and he sets about getting what he needs. His father had practically begged for his hat and some clothes.

_'If they want me up and walking, I'm not about to have my ass hangin' out.'_

Kurt grabs his dad's favorite baseball cap and several changes of comfortable clothes. He starts to let himself get lost in thoughts again, but sees Thad outside leaning against the car.

Now is not the time.

He makes his way downstairs with the bag of stuff. Driving away, he looks out the back window until he can't see the house anymore.

Soon.

...

It's a longer drive back than it should be thanks to an accident that brings them to a standstill.

The delay is okay with Kurt – he's in no rush to get back to their apartment.

No.

Blaine's apartment.

_Oh god, this is almost over._

It's like the final piece of a puzzle finally snaps into place. He doesn't have to stay with Blaine. They're not really a couple and Kurt only has to pretend for a little while longer.

His mind feels clearer now than it has in weeks. The things he's said and done with Blaine – it makes him sad and sick and angry. He has to lie across the seat to deal with the barrage of emotion flowing through him.

He mumbles an 'I'm fine' and is thankful, for once, that Thad won't speak to him.

A little laugh escapes him and Kurt's pretty sure he's going to need counseling or medication or something when all of this is done. He's rationalized and been in denial and done everything he possibly could to endure not only the physical pain, but the psychological and emotional as well. His mind is warped and confused, but it's still _his_. He's still here.

He thought he stopped fighting, but apparently his mind just went into survival mode. Kurt Hummel has become a psychiatrist's wet dream, ready to be analyzed and fixed.

It's impossible to hold in when another laugh bubbles to the surface. He's not sure if it's out of happiness or craziness or just plain relief.

The car finally enters the parking garage and Kurt pulls himself together. Thad gives him a questioning look in the rearview mirror and Kurt just smiles as he gets out.

When he finally makes his way into the apartment, he's caught off guard to see Blaine standing in the kitchen looking frazzled.

"Where have you been?"

"I- There were a few things I had to get from my house after I left the hospital. And then the freeway was down to one lane so we had to take a different route."

"Where's your phone? I called and text you."

"You took it the other day – after I got the call from the hospital. You never gave it back."

Blaine's eyes narrow like he's trying to remember that detail.

"But I'm sure Thad let you know."

"I don't—" He let out a frustrated sigh. "I told you I expected you home by dinner every night."

It's only then that Kurt looks behind Blaine and sees the food on the counter, plates set at the table, and flowers filling a vase. Blaine had planned dinner for them.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't help it – I didn't know."

"Yah, well, fuck it. I've got stuff to do."

"Wait, please. We can reheat stuff. I'm starving."

"Then eat. I have to go."

Blaine pushes past Kurt, brushing his shoulder and slamming the door.

It's hard, but Kurt suppresses the relief and the happiness to go home. His father wasn't home yet and Kurt still needed to hold up his end of the bargain.

Two days.

His father had only been awake for two days and Kurt had already managed to screw things up and risk his treatment again.

He had to find a way to fix it.

Not tonight though. Blaine needed to cool off first and then Kurt could make things better.

He crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head. It wasn't even dark yet, but Kurt could barely keep his eyes open.

...

It's not a surprise, but Blaine doesn't come home that night. A second night passes and he still doesn't come home.

Kurt busies himself during the day with his father, careful to always be home late afternoon. Still nothing.

On the fourth night, Kurt falls asleep on the couch waiting, unsure what else to do. It's pitch black in the apartment when the front door wakes him. He rubs at his eyes trying to see in the dark.

"Blaine?"

All of the lights flick on and Kurt has to cover his eyes for a moment. When they've finally adjusted, he sees Cooper sitting across from him. His normal taunting smile isn't plastered on his face. He looks tired.

"Cooper?"

Something changes on his face and he sits forward in the chair. "I don't care about you. I don't care what happens to you."

Kurt blinks dumbly at him, not sure how to respond.

"I care about my family and you're fucking with that. So I don't care what you need to do – but you're going to remedy this shit storm you started."

"He won't come home. I—"

"Stop talking."

Kurt plants his feet more firmly on the ground, his fight or flight instinct tingling, and he is definitely in flight mode.

"Blaine's spending all of his time at the office avoiding you for whatever reason. I don't want details. I don't care what happened. He doesn't have his shit together at work and I need him to be on point. Whatever you did – you're going to undo it."

"I didn't do—"

"I told you to stop fucking talking!"

Cooper was up, but Kurt was up too – not nearly fast enough. He held Kurt against the couch with one hand gripping his hair and the other pushing on his chest.

"Don't ever run from me."

"I was- Ah!" Cooper pulled hard on Kurt's hair, forcing his gaze up.

"If you don't fix this, something bad is going to happen."

He let go of Kurt's hair, still holding him with his other hand and an intense look.

"You're already broken just like Blaine wants. He wouldn't be happy if I did what I'd like to do to you. So if I can't make you bleed, I'll make you hurt in other ways."

Cooper's eyes brightened and he grinned.

Kurt just stared in shock.

"Make him come home. I'll do anything, I swear."

"I can't make him do anything. Figure it out."

Cooper pulled back and walked down the hall, calling back over his shoulder. "And it better be quick."

...

There was no more sleep to be had that night. A thousand thoughts raced through his head – none of them a solution to the problem.

Morning finally comes and he gets ready to go visit his father like usual. He'd made a promise to himself that his father would take top priority every day going forward. Without that, he wouldn't let his father see him like this. No matter how much he tried to cover, he was sure it was written plainly across his face the second he walked in the room.

"Hey—what's wrong?"

He shrugs one shoulder and takes his seat.

"Seriously, kiddo. Are you okay?"

"I'm just really tired, dad. Couldn't sleep."

"You having problems with that boyfriend? I need to give him a talk?"

Kurt chuckled at the thought. His father had no idea what he would be walking into.

"I'm twenty-two years old, dad. Fairly certain I don't need you giving anyone I'm in a relationship with 'a talk.'"

"Just sayin'. Why haven't you brought him up here so I could meet him?"

"He's busy."

"He's got enough time to write some hefty checks for this place which I know ain't cheap. His boyfriend's father just woke up from a coma. Nobody's that busy."

"Dad, come on."

"No, you come on, Kurt. Promise me you'll bring him up here."

"I'll see if he can get off."

"They have extended visiting hours – don't pull that crap with me."

"Okay! Fine!"

This was a battle he wasn't going to win.

Kurt stays for his dad's physical therapy appointment and is impressed with the progress he's made in just a few days. They have lunch together and Kurt harps on his dad until he eats all of his vegetable soup. Burt hasn't stopped complaining about the taste, but Kurt feels proud when he finishes it.

His dad shoos him out early afternoon under the guise of getting some rest. All Kurt can think is he can't go home to that empty apartment.

He's almost in tears and the car has barely left the hospital parking lot. It feels like he's fallen down a cliff and somehow managed to find a ledge to stand on, but now the ledge is slowly breaking away bit by bit.

"Can you take me to where Blaine works?"

Thad eyes him in the rearview mirror for several seconds and then looks away.

Kurt slumps in his seat and mentally prepares himself for the silence that awaits him at the apartment. When they stop at an unfamiliar building, he's confused and then grateful. Thad opens the car door for him and leads him into the building. There are people milling about – business-like people and definitely some not-so-business-like people. He follows Thad closely, not wanting to get lost in the office maze.

They stop in front of a man that looks like he could kill Kurt in a second. With one hand.

Thad gestures back to Kurt and the man scrutinizes him before saying something too low for Kurt to hear. They walk a short distance further and then Thad nods his head down the hallway. Kurt looks to the door at the end and then back to Thad.

"Thank you."

Thad turns and walks back the way he came, leaving Kurt alone in the hallway.

Kurt isn't sure if he's supposed to knock or not, so he does just in case. He can hear noise on the other side, but it's not actual words. Part of him wants to run and find Thad and just leave because this could be a huge mistake. Ambushing Blaine when he is clearly avoiding him could only make things worse. But waiting alone for Blaine has gotten him nowhere.

He pushes the door open and his eyes immediately spot Blaine at the opposite end of the room. Wes is sparring with him and if they didn't have gloves on, Kurt would think they were really fighting. The door shutting behind Kurt is louder than he expected and both men pull back and look him. Blaine immediately crouches down, spitting out his mouth guard, and trying to catch his breath. Wes looks back and forth between them and then takes off his gloves. As he makes his exit out another door, Blaine stands and moves over to the punching bag, laying into it like his life depends on it.

Somehow Kurt finds the strength to move his legs and makes his way across the room. When he gets close, he sees pure rage on Blaine's face. He tries to find the right words to say, but he is at a complete loss.

Several long moments pass between them, Blaine acting as if Kurt doesn't exist.

"Blaine…"

And then Blaine is rounding on him, fists raised, and with such ferocity Kurt is sure that he's going to be hit. He closes his eyes and raises his hands in defense. In this moment, Kurt is terrified.

A hit doesn't come – the room filled with heavy breathing and the soft thud when Blaine drops his gloves. Kurt opens his eyes to see Blaine staring down at his hands, slowly peeling the tape off his fingers.

"What are you doing here?" It sounds like an accusation - he'd made the wrong decision in coming here.

Kurt's hands lower to his side, still shaking. "Y-you wouldn't come h-home."

Blaine looks at him, eyes narrowed. "Are you afraid of me?"

"I… I don't know."

"God damn it, you do know! Did you think I was going to fucking hit you?"

A shiver runs through his body and all he wants is to make this right. "I know you're angry. I know I did something wrong."

Blaine huffs and throws the tape on the floor. "I'm going to have a serious talk with Thad. Now go home."

"Not without you." Kurt finds courage he didn't know he had. "Come home with me."

Blaine looks at him incredulously. "You're giving orders now?"

Kurt shakes his head slightly feeling chastised. He can't meet Blaine's eyes, but he sees the man turn his back and start to walk away.

Immediately, Kurt falls to his knees. "Tell me what to do. I'll do anything."

Blaine stops, but doesn't turn.

"I can't go back there without you. I'll do anything you tell me to. Do you want me to beg? I'll beg." His voice is already pleading, thick with emotion, and the tears spilling down his cheeks to match. "Please, Blaine. Please. Anything. Yours."

The words barely make it out between the sobs. He's not begging for himself, but his father.

Kurt's so far gone that he barely registers the hand on his head, the body near him, the arms around him. It seems like he'll never stop crying and Blaine just holds him through it.

The ache in his knees brings him back to himself and he looks up at Blaine meekly.

Blaine places the lightest kiss on his lips and then stands up. When he extends his hand down to Kurt, there's not a moment of hesitation. Kurt clings to him, the pair walking awkwardly down the old narrow hallways out to the car.

By the time they make it home, Kurt's tears are dry and a quiet determination takes over. He'll do anything to keep Blaine happy and worry about the end of this when it comes.

Blaine makes them both tea and they settle at the kitchen table, the apartment still eerily quiet.

"I'm sorry." Kurt's voice is raspier than usual, his emotional meltdown having taken its toll.

"I know you are." Blaine holds his hand across the table and Kurt drinks his tea. He's stupid to expect any kind of apology from Blaine in return – Blaine's never sorry.

Things are far from back to normal between them, but Blaine is here and that's what's important right now.

"My dad wants to meet you."

"And do you want me to meet your dad?"

Kurt smiles and nods. "I do."

Blaine pulls Kurt's hand up and kisses it. "Okay."

He leads Kurt to the bedroom, holds him close, kisses him sweetly. Kurt can't remember Blaine ever being this gentle – mapping out his body as if it were somehow new to him. Blaine takes his time, Kurt watching the time pass as the sun dips lower and lower on the horizon.

When Blaine comes inside him, it feels like forgiveness.

...


	9. Chapter 9

**Wow, y'all are awesome. I'm posting this as I edit each chapter, so yay for quick updates :D Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

**...**

**_"There are three sides to every story. Mine, yours, and the truth." – Joseph Massino_**

He's scared, pacing, on the edge of a panic attack.

A thousand things could go wrong in this moment.

Why did he even allow this?

Kurt wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

That morning, he shook the entire way to the hospital, stumbled over his own feet walking down the hall, and tripped into his dad's room. He was so nervous that he practically yelled 'TA-DA!' with the way his voice went so high and his arms swept to the side where Blaine stood. It's no wonder his father told him to leave.

Well, maybe it was more like a polite request to speak with Blaine alone.

So, here Kurt was in the hallway, practically wearing a path into the floor with his marching back and forth. He left his very frail father alone in a room with a murderer. That thought did nothing to calm him. The door pulled open seconds before Kurt decided he would barge in.

Blaine gave him a tight smile and held the door open for him to enter the room.

"You guys have a nice chat?" He looked over his father anxiously and then back to Blaine.

"Would you calm down, kid? I didn't threaten him with my shotgun or anything."

Kurt blanched. To his side, he heard Blaine let out a little chuckle.

"Seriously. He been this uptight the whole time I've been in here?"

"No, sir. I think he's just exhausted." Blaine walked closer to Kurt and rubbed lightly at the back of his neck.

Kurt was still tense, expression frozen into a confused grimace.

"Well, get on outta here then. Take care of my boy."

"But…" Kurt gaped at his dad, suddenly feeling like he missed something important. "I didn't even get to visit with you today."

"Kurt, you're gonna have more than enough time with me when I get outta here in a couple weeks. They've got me up to twice a day on PT. Say I'm coming along."

"That's great, dad."

"So go. You can come back tomorrow."

Blaine grabs his hand and Kurt follows. "Bye dad."

"Nice to meet you Mr. Hummel."

"Burt!"

"Of course. Burt."

"You kids do something fun for me. Or eat something really good unlike this crap they serve here."

Kurt smiles and shakes his head as they walk into the hallway.

He's actually surprised at his restraint as he waits until they're in the car before he interrogates Blaine.

"So?"

"So… what?" Blaine gives him a coy smile and Kurt wants to smack it off his face.

"What did you talk about?"

"Oh, you know. A little of this, a little of that. Who knew he was such a college football fan?"

"I did! And you're purposely torturing me, aren't you?"

Blaine drops the act and brushes his knuckles against Kurt's cheek. "He wanted to thank me for paying for everything and just get to know me."

"Oh god, what did you tell him?"

"I gave him the basics, minus the illegal details. If I had told him the truth, he definitely would've threatened me with his shotgun."

Kurt knows that Blaine is trying to lighten the mood, but he's been on edge for too long and he just feels fried. He doesn't fight it when Blaine pulls him close, but he doesn't relax either.

Kurt's walking a tightrope and running out of stamina. He has to keep Blaine happy to finish getting his father well, but he has to keep his father separate from Blaine. The uncertainty of exactly what was said between the two men keeps the crazy scenarios running on a loop in his head.

"You're thinking too much."

"Lots to think about."

"Well, let's do something to distract you. Tell me something that you've always wanted to do, but never have."

"What? I don't want to do anything, Blaine."

"Come on. Something a little crazy – skydiving… or we could fly to Vegas!"

"You know I hate heights and we can't just fly somewhere. I have to be here for my dad."

"Okay, fine. What about that racing school Cooper was talking about at Thanksgiving? There's a dragstrip and a Nascar track."

"I don't want to race cars."

"So, what? You don't want to do anything with me?"

"It's not that. You just… you don't have to try so hard. I don't want to do crazy things. I want to do normal things. Like that first night when you took me to the theater and dinner."

"We do normal things all the time."

"I like normal things."

Blaine's shoulder shrugs slightly under where Kurt's head is rested. "Is stopping for lunch normal enough for you?"

He pulls away to look up at Blaine and is met with a smile. "Lunch would be nice."

His head finds its way back to Blaine's shoulder and all Kurt can think is _'keep him happy.'_ A little more time and his dad would be strong enough.

Just a little more time.

...

The days pass much slower now. Kurt can't fall back into losing time – losing himself. He ticks the days off one by one in his head.

Blaine is different now. It's like he can't stop touching Kurt. Always loving, always tender. Sometimes Kurt will watch him sleep, the slow rise and fall of his chest. In the moonlight, Kurt can almost imagine that things are different. Blaine's just a guy he met in college and this is their first apartment together. They're happy.

Sometimes he catches Blaine watching him with a far off look in his eyes and he thinks Blaine might be imagining it too. Blaine always looks sad when Kurt meets his eyes, drawing him back to reality. Maybe because he knows things are coming to an end.

Blaine is especially clingy today, kissing and holding and molding himself to Kurt for hours. They do this more now – just being together, being close. It feels very domestic.

It's been days since they've had sex – an unexpected but not unwanted break. But now, Kurt can tell the moment Blaine's soft caresses start meaning more than cuddling. He always opens up, letting Blaine kiss and lick and take what he needs. Kurt is nothing if not pliant.

They're practically wrapped up in one another and Kurt can feel Blaine's hardness against his hip.

"God, you're so perfect. So good to me. Always so good."

Blaine ruts against him, hard and steady and Kurt holds him close, kissing down his neck. All it takes is a bite just below his ear and Blaine stills next to him, coming hard.

Kurt's tired – he's not hard and he doesn't want to get off. So, he pulls Blaine close, still breathing hard, and closes his eyes to sleep. He's almost there when he feels Blaine start peppering kisses on his face and neck. Kurt's annoyed and he wants to tell Blaine to knock it off, but he won't. When Blaine is like this – clingy and needy – Kurt gets no reprieve. He feels smothered.

"You always give me just what I want."

Kurt keeps his eyes closed and hopes Blaine will take the hint. He never does.

"Want to give you everything."

"Blaine, can we sleep? I'm exhausted."

"I'll give you anything."

"Okay, give me a nap."

"No, be serious, Kurt. Tell me you want to be with me."

Kurt bites his tongue, closing his eyes tighter like that will somehow help.

The silence is agony.

"Kurt. Tell me you'll stay with me."

The fatigue combined with his annoyance and the knowledge that his father will soon be home lead Kurt to give Blaine the truth.

"I can't… I want to go home."

Immediately, he can feel Blaine's body go rigid.

Blaine lets out a resigned sigh and shakes his head against Kurt's shoulder.

"No, that's not what you want. You'll be happy here."

"Please, Blaine. My father is going home in a couple days and even after that our three months will be up just a few days later. Let me go now."

Blaine pushes himself up off the couch and grabs the glass bowl off the coffee table, throwing it across the room where it shatters into a thousand pieces against the wall. Kurt pulls his knees up, afraid of this side of Blaine that's stayed locked away for so long.

"You ruined it! Things were going so well. I won't let you go. We just need more time."

"More time won't change anything."

The noise draws Cooper out of his room. He surveys the damage and then focuses on Blaine. "What the hell is going on?"

Blaine's fists are balled, knuckles white, and he's breathing so hard through his nose that he looks like a bull. He turns and starts to walk away, ignoring Cooper, and Kurt has the briefest moment of relief. Then Blaine turns back and Kurt just closes his eyes, waiting to be hit or grabbed or whatever will quell Blaine's rage. Hands roughly cup his face causing him to open his eyes. Blaine is close – so close. He's still breathing hard, but looks surprisingly calmer.

"No. Say that you want to stay with me."

Kurt shakes his head as much as he can with Blaine holding his face.

"God damnit, SAY IT!"

"I cant!"

"Fuck, Kurt. I wish your father had never woken up! We could be so happy."

He releases his grasp on Kurt and pushes past Cooper, barreling out the front door in his dirty sweatpants and no shoes.

Cooper regards Kurt for a moment, still sitting on the couch and desperately holding the tears back. They make the briefest of eye contact and then Cooper goes back to his bedroom. When he reemerges a few minutes later, he's dressed, and carrying a bag.

He doesn't give Kurt a second look.

The door slams and Kurt cries himself to sleep.

...

When he's shaken awake several hours later, he's surprised. Blaine looms over him in the darkness.

"You can't sleep on the couch. Come on."

He takes Blaine's hand – always takes his hand – and walks to the bedroom. Blaine undresses him slowly, piece by piece until he's left in his underwear.

When they crawl into bed, Blaine pulls him close – nothing else. Kurt waits, and Blaine just stays spooned into him, warm breath on his neck.

"You're not going home."

And there it is. Kurt is scared and he knows how easily Blaine could make him stay forever against his will.

"We have a deal. You can go home when our deal is done."

Kurt wants to turn and look at him. He wants to see what emotion is playing on his face. Blaine is the kind of guy that always gets what he wants and he made it clear earlier what that was.

There's nothing Kurt can say in this moment that feels right.

"Okay."

He closes his eyes and hopes when the day comes, Blaine will let him go.

...

The smell of sweet coffee and a gentle kiss to the forward wake him up. By the time his eyes are open, Blaine's gone from the room and then with the shutting of the front door he is gone from the apartment.

The steaming cup on the bedside table is irresistible. When he takes his first sip, he's not surprised to see that Blaine's made it just the way he likes it. The thought makes him sad, but most things do lately.

He takes his time getting ready – soaking for far too long in the huge bath, styling his hair to perfection, and putting together his favorite outfit.

It's not a surprise that the glass is cleaned up in the living room. Kurt shakes his head and walks to the door. Thad is waiting there – probably has been for some time thanks to Kurt's failure to care about time.

It's pouring down rain and Kurt's thankful it's not quite cold enough to freeze today. The erratic pattern of drops against the car is somehow soothing.

Walking down the hospital halls, Kurt can't help but beam at the people he passes.

Tomorrow.

His dad is leaving tomorrow.

"Mr. Hummel!"

Kurt looks over and smiles, but keeps walking.

"No, Mr. Hummel wait! The doctor is examining your father and you'll need to wait out here until he's done."

"Why?"

He was always suspicious of people, but this made no sense. The doctor had examined his dad dozens of times with him in the room. Then he started to get worried.

"Just… sit. Please. He'll be out shortly."

"Where's Gail?"

"She's not here today."

"It's not her day off."

"She had a personal emergency."

He sat in the chair outside his dad's room, chewing on his lip due to nerves. It startles him when the door opens. The small glimpse he gets of his father puts him even more on edge.

"Why is my father back on oxygen?"

The doctor motions for him to sit back down, a serious look on his face.

"Mr. Hummel, I first just want you to understand that your father is fine now."

"Fine _now_? When was he not fine?"

"There was a mistake made with his medication and he was given more than his normal dose. His blood pressure dropped very low as a result, but we immediately took action to counteract this. He's doing fine now – his blood pressure is stable and we've been closely monitoring him."

"How in the hell did he get too much medication?"

"It was simple human error. One of our new nurses—"

"Where's the nurse?"

"We've sent her home, Mr. Hummel. I assure you we're following hospital procedure in dealing with this."

"I don't care about your assurances!" Kurt is seething, but he lowers his voice. "Could he have died from this?"

"That is a very, _very_ extreme possibility. Thankfully, another nurse walked in as the error was being made, so the situation was under control very quickly. Had we not…"

The doctor keeps talking, his words sounding far away as Kurt eyes everyone nearby. Blaine has connections here. Cooper no doubt as well. Their words rang heavy in his head.

_'I'll make you hurt in other ways.'_

_'I wish your father had never woken up!'_

"Doctor." The man halts his speech immediately. "Don't you think it odd that the day before my father is set to be released, his primary nurse is suddenly out and some new nurse comes in and could have killed my father."

"I think those are all very unfortunate coincidences."

Kurt stares at the man. He could be bought, too. Everyone has their price.

"So will he still be released tomorrow?"

"I would like to continue to monitor him very closely and we can make the determination in the morning."

"Then bring in a cot. I'm not leaving this hospital until my father is released."

"That's not necessary, Mr—"

"I'm going to see my father now. I want you to personally oversee any medications or care my father gets. And if you're lucky, I won't talk to a lawyer."

The doctor simply nods and moves aside for Kurt to go in.

His dad looks a little pale, but not too worse for wear.

As he sits down, his dad's eyes flutter open.

"Hey kiddo."

"Are you okay?" Tears are already forming and he could curse his damn emotions.

"Listen, I'm fine. It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Dad, you could've died."

"I got a little dizzy and tingly in my arms and legs. Reminded me of the good ol' days."

"Don't joke. This is serious!"

"I know. But they hooked me up to all their fancy machines and I checked out okay. I'm just tired now from all the excitement. Stop worrying – don't you know heart problems run in this family?"

Kurt gives his father a pointed look as he laughs at his own joke.

"Well, I'm setting up camp until they release you."

"No you're not. I can stay another night or two by myself."

"I'm not changing my mind on this, dad. Just let me do this."

They stare at each other for a minute before his dad nods.

Thad pokes his head in late afternoon – the signal that it was time to leave. His eyes fall on the made-up cot and then back to Kurt.

"I'm not leaving. You can come pick us up tomorrow to take us home."

Kurt's face is unwavering and Thad shuts the door as he leaves.

The doctor is in and out of the room more times than Kurt has ever seen. His dad had regained his energy and the doctor said all of his vitals were stable.

Tomorrow his dad would be home in his comfy recliner and all would be well. They'd set it up for his aunt to come stay for a couple weeks. Not only could she be there with his dad for the last few days Kurt spent with Blaine, but she was also conveniently a nurse and could help take care of him. Kurt wasn't close with her at all and while Burt still spoke with her on holidays and birthdays, their relationship was very strained. She had been quite vocal in the past about disagreeing with Kurt's 'life choices' as an out and proud gay man. But all differences were being put aside because they needed her and she desperately wanted to help.

When there's a knock on the door that evening, Kurt had expected it, but he's still somehow unprepared to see Blaine.

"Hi Mr—Burt."

"Hey Blaine. Why don't you get my kid outta here?"

"That's exactly why I'm here, sir."

"I'm not leaving." He's defiant – daring Blaine to challenge him. "Dad, I'm not leaving until you do."

"Fine, fine. At least go get something to eat before the cafeteria closes."

"No, I—"

"Damnit, Kurt. I'll be okay for fifteen minutes."

He feels bad now having made his dad upset. Blaine continues to stare at him with a blank expression.

"Fine." Kurt grabs his jacket and walks past Blaine.

"And sneak me some pie or something!"

Kurt doesn't look back, just continues walking with purpose to the cafeteria.

As he grabs a tray, he realizes he's not hungry at all. He should eat, but he can't. Blaine lingers in his peripheral vision.

"If we're not going to eat, can we at least sit down?"

Kurt puts the tray back and walks to a table in the corner.

Before they're even fully seated, Blaine is talking.

"Thad told me what happened with your father."

Kurt glares at him. "Did he?"

Blaine looks confused. "I wish you'd been the one to tell me, but I know you were concerned with your father."

"Don't act like you care…"

"I do—"

"Well last night, you wished he never woke up at all!"

"I was angry. But hurting him isn't going to make you want to stay with me."

Kurt watches. Every facial tic, every expression. Looking – searching.

"Then it was Cooper."

"Why would Cooper do this?"

"He's a sociopath, Blaine! You're blind to it because he's your brother."

"He's done nothing but accept you when I brought you into this situation."

"He threatened me." Blaine's face immediately morphs into anger. "When you stopped coming home last time. He said to fix it or he would make me hurt. And how convenient that this happens the day after he sees us fighting again!"

Blaine looks a mixture between mad and regretful. Maybe he realizes that if his brother did do this, it was out of some misguided attempt to keep Blaine happy. With Burt out of the way, did Cooper think Kurt would just run into Blaine's arms?

Kurt's face drops. That's exactly what he did. When Kurt thought his dad was never waking up, he completely gave into Blaine.

He was going to be sick.

"Whoa, hold on."

Kurt's legs are weak beneath him as he tries to stand, Blaine repositioning him back in the chair and crouching in front of him.

"If Cooper did this, I will handle it. But you have to think that this really could've just been some stupid fuck up from some new employee."

"I don't think it was."

"I know." He fiddles with Kurt's hand, not making eye contact. He looks almost… vulnerable. "Did you really think I would kill your father?"

Kurt shuts his eyes because he can't look at Blaine. He doesn't want to see the hurt on his face. In truth, Kurt _had_ thought that. It wasn't exactly a far fetch since Blaine had killed someone for just being close to Kurt. But now, he thinks Blaine really did only say those hateful words because of the heightened emotion.

"I…"

Blaine takes a deep breath and stands up.

"Come on. I'll walk you back."

They walk back to the room in silence. He kisses Kurt lightly on the forehead and turns to walk briskly towards the exit.

Blaine has never been more of an enigma to him.

...

By the time he finally gets back to Blaine's the following night, he is exhausted.

He couldn't sleep at the hospital – too many noises, too many people, too many worries. But the second his father got his discharge papers, Kurt was practically dancing a jig.

Knowing he would be coming back into the city that night, Kurt had arranged for Thad to drive them home. It was awkward at first with his aunt at the house, but Kurt could see her genuine desire to do nothing but help. Maybe she'd changed over the years.

The Johnsons from next door had surprised them all by setting up a small Christmas tree and decorations. To Kurt it hadn't really felt like the holiday season, but the look on his dad's face was enough to get him at least thinking about it.

He always hated lying to his dad, but Kurt had to construct a plausible enough excuse to be away for the next several days. It didn't take much – a half-truth about Blaine making plans for them to get away. They weren't going anywhere, but he was sure Blaine had plans for these last days. His dad really seemed to like Blaine. Maybe because in his eyes, this was the man that took care of his son for so long; took care of him when Burt couldn't. Kurt left many gaps in their story and Burt undoubtedly filled those gaps with happiness.

So when his dad practically pushed him out the door, Kurt didn't fight. He swore he would check in a dozen times a day and be home on Christmas Eve.

Thad seemed to watch him more in the rearview mirror during the drive back. Kurt wondered if Thad knew something he didn't. He felt unnerved the entire car ride. But walking back into the apartment, Kurt sees Blaine sitting and waiting for him. Without hesitation, Kurt goes to him, accepting the comforting embrace that's given.

Kurt has no idea what to expect in these next few days.

The exhaustion is obvious and though he tries to give Blaine his attention, his body is fighting against him.

Blaine takes them to bed, content to draw patterns on Kurt's back and soothe him to sleep.

It doesn't take long.

...

He wakes up still wrapped up in Blaine's arms. The thought is nice, but the reality is he's sweaty and they're sticking together and it feels gross. A sigh of relief escapes him as the cool air hits his overheated skin when he starts to separate himself from Blaine. He doesn't get far before arms are pulling him back.

"Staaaaaay." It's whiny and endearing at the same time.

"I'm hot. Going to jump in the shower."

"We should stay in bed all day."

"Whatever you want. After a shower and food."

"In that case, I'll make breakfast while you shower." Blaine pushes the covers off and throws on a shirt.

Kurt laughs at the eagerness, watching Blaine stumble out of the bedroom.

After a quick shower, he puts on some comfy clothes – apparently they were staying in today.

He makes his way to the kitchen and plops down unceremoniously at the kitchen table. A still rumpled looking Blaine standing at the stove, concentrating hard on cooking.

"What's on the menu this morning?"

"A fresh veggie omelet topped with some smoked gouda and a side of sliced berries."

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "You've been holding out on me. Why do we eat out so often if you can cook such delicious things?"

"First, you haven't tasted it yet. And second, it's turning into more of a vegetable scramble than an omelet."

The laugh got stuck in Kurt's throat as he saw Cooper round the corner and open the fridge. Kurt could feel the eyes on him as Blaine looked back and forth between the two of them. It's not until a steaming plate of food is set before him that he snaps out of it, looking back to Blaine with wide eyes.

Blaine leans down and whispers in his ear. "I talked to him. He didn't do it, Kurt. I would know."

He's not sure if he believes that. Blaine only gets to see certain parts of Cooper – there are sides Kurt is sure are kept hidden.

He can't look at Cooper, so he grabs his fork and stares down at his plate. When Cooper sits across from him with his cereal, Kurt wants to scream at him and demand answers. Instead, he shovels a forkful of egg into his mouth and tries not to let anyone see his hand shake.

Kurt could see it so clearly in his head – Cooper using whatever means necessary to get some young girl to do his dirty work, make it look like an accident. He probably did stuff like that all the time.

"…and Kurt are planning to stay in. But thanks."

Kurt looks to Blaine at the sound of his name. Blaine is smiling, so he smiles back.

He looks back down to his plate and pushes more of it around.

"I'm sorry if it's horrible. There's cereal and more fruit if you'd rather have that." Kurt starts to object – he didn't taste the bite he took, so he's not sure whether it's good or not. But Blaine is standing, kissing his forehead. "I'm going to take a shower."

Kurt stares until Blaine's long gone from the kitchen. He slowly shifts his eyes over to Cooper who is leering at him.

"Hey plaything. How's dad?"

A shiver runs through his body, fear and anger mingling beneath the surface.

"You…"

Cooper leans forward, elbows on the table. "Did you want to ask me something?"

"Did you hurt my father?"

He smirks. "Of course not."

"Did you… did you pay someone to do it?"

Cooper leans back, a blank expression on his face. "Now why would I do that?"

"You saw us fighting... Y-you threatened me before."

"You're right, I did do that."

"Are you trying to keep me here to be with Blaine?"

"I don't even like you. Why would I want you to stay?"

Kurt is shaking, fists clenched in his lap. "Then why did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything."

"You're lying."

Cooper seems to be staring through him. "I didn't hurt your father. I want you out of Blaine's life and I'll get my wish in a matter of days."

Kurt's hand smacks down on the table before he even realizes it's moving. "Stop lying!"

Cooper stands, leaning across the table, and towering over Kurt. "If I wanted your father dead, he would be dead. So don't push me unless you really want to see what I'm capable of."

Kurt recoils, wrings his hands together in his lap, and lets the words settle as Cooper leaves the room.

He still isn't convinced, but he's too afraid to press any further.

When Blaine returns, clean and still dripping, Kurt is still staring blankly at the table.

"Kurt?"

He looks up at the concerned face. "How do you know he didn't do it?"

Blaine's brow furrows and he sits close to Kurt, loosening his fists and rubbing them slowly. "I know my brother. And he knows that I wouldn't be happy if he hurt you which includes anything involving your father."

"But you can't be sure."

"We may never know exactly what happened. But I believe Cooper."

Kurt nods an acknowledgment, not an agreement. He doesn't believe Cooper. He also doesn't have any proof to continue arguing.

Blaine watches him carefully, so Kurt makes himself eat most of his now cold breakfast. He'll do whatever he has to for these last days and then the Anderson brothers will be out of his life.

He won't look back.

...

Kurt didn't think staying in for the day would mean mostly cuddling. He's perfectly okay with it, but Blaine like this confuses him. It feels a little too much like they're actually boyfriends.

They laze on the couch, dozing between episodes of cheesy reality TV. He wakes to Blaine rubbing lightly over the swell of his ass.

"…so good for me."

Kurt looks up to see Blaine's eyes still closed and thinks he may still be asleep.

Blaine blinks his eyes open slowly as he reaches for Kurt's hand, guiding it to rub his half-hard cock through his boxers.

Definitely not asleep.

Kurt rubs teasingly, watching Blaine the whole time.

When a hand slips under the waistband of his sweats, Kurt jolts slightly. One finger dips down and brushes between his cheeks. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead on Blaine's chest. His hand quickens where it's now wrapped tightly around Blaine.

Blaine's breath is hot on his ear as he leans forward. "Hands and knees. On the floor."

His hand stops and he looks back up at Blaine. It takes him a minute, but then he's crawling off Blaine and lowering himself to the floor. Blaine leaves the room, but returns quickly with the lube.

Kurt thinks this situation moved awfully fast from 'cuddling boyfriends' to 'fucking on the floor.' But he stays perfectly still, not questioning it.

There's a bite to his left ass cheek and Kurt yelps. Soft kisses soothe the same site as a wet finger teases at his hole. As it pushes in, Kurt tenses – even as he repeatedly tells himself to relax like a mantra in his head.

Kurt's barely adjusted to the first finger when a second pushes in. The feeling triggers a memory of the first time Blaine fucked him. It was too fast and too hard and he has to open his eyes wide to convince himself he's not back in that moment.

The fingers pump and crook and stretch. Kurt starts to feel sparks of pleasure as Blaine moves his fingers just right.

"Can you… more lube."

He thinks he may be breathing so hard because he's trying to stave off a panic attack, that night from months ago suddenly a fresh wound again.

When a third finger pushes in, stretching but not hurting, Kurt comes back to reality. This is not that night.

Blaine pulls his fingers out, slicking himself up, and positioning himself against Kurt's entrance.

Kurt keeps his eyes open, focusing. As Blaine pushes forward, burying himself to the hilt inside, Kurt's mouth falls open – gaping, no sound coming out. Blaine pulls back quickly, only the thick head keeping Kurt open.

"Wait." Kurt reaches a hand back to Blaine's hip.

And this time, Blaine does. He's panting hard and rubbing small circles in Kurt's hips. A few more breaths and Kurt's nodding his head and pushing himself back on Blaine.

A groan escapes Blaine and he starts thrusting. Kurt moves his knees further apart, opening himself up, and then Blaine is pounding right into his prostate. It takes him by surprise and then he can't stop the string of moans matching the snap of Blaine's hips. He tries to put all of his weight on one hand to reach down and stroke himself. Before he can even get the hand up, he's coming hard onto the floor beneath him and squeezing tightly around Blaine.

The thrusts speed up and then Blaine's coming inside him – the feeling still not one he's comfortable with. Blaine sags against him as they both come down until Kurt lets out a whine.

Blaine pulls back, cock slipping out, and leans against the couch.

"There's come on the carpet."

Kurt's not sure why he says it, but looking down and thinking about how he came without even touching himself completely bewilders him.

Blaine starts to laugh and Kurt eventually looks over his shoulder only to be met with an endearing look.

"I think it will be okay."

Kurt nods, but still gets up to get a rag.

Somehow the thought of a part of him leaving a permanent stain here is unsettling.

...

They spend the following day exploring the city, eating and shopping and freezing their butts off.

The theaters are dark that evening, but Blaine arranges for a quick tour where one of Kurt's favorite shows is playing. Seeing the costumes and sets, even without the actors and lights, is absolutely amazing.

When the light snow starts to fall a little faster, a little heavier, they opt for takeout instead of eating at a restaurant. Dinner is spent bundled in blankets on the couch, cold clothes immediately discarded when they got home.

They kiss and cuddle and kiss some more. The last thing Kurt remembers before falling asleep is the gentle pressure of Blaine's lips on his cheek.

...


	10. Chapter 10

**All that's left after this is the epilogue. Hopefully I can get that posted tonight. Thank you again for reading/reviewing!**

**_..._**

**_"I know where my mistakes are, where I made my mistakes. They're too late to remedy, you know what I mean?" - John Gotti_**

When Kurt blearily opens his eyes to the morning sun, he only has one thought in his head. Today, he gets to go home.

And he doesn't know what to do.

He can't just get out of bed, grab his suitcase and run. At some point, Thad will drive him home. Kurt supposes that time has already been predetermined and he'll be told when he needs to know.

Blaine's already awake when he turns over towards him, staring up at the ceiling. He turns to Kurt and smiles the most genuine smile Kurt's ever seen on his face. It's like he's just been waiting for Kurt to look at him.

The smile turns sad, though, Blaine's entire face changing.

Blaine knows what today is.

Kurt leans over and gives him the lightest kiss on his lips. Even with everything this man has done in the past three months, Kurt can't bear to see that look on his face.

Blaine stares at him with such wonder, a hand tracing every inch of Kurt's face.

As Blaine moves closer, over him, his eyes never leave Kurt's.

Everything is slow, sweet, loving. Kurt wants to look away, close his eyes, disconnect from whatever this is that's holding him in place. He is completely mesmerized.

He wonders what Blaine sees in his eyes. What do they give away as he opens and arches and moves underneath Blaine?

When Blaine kisses him, they both finally close their eyes. Kurt wants to cry.

He's never had someone look at him like that. He's not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

They lay tangled together in the silence.

"I have to go." The words seem to echo through the room, breaking whatever spell he was under.

Kurt pulls himself away and cleans himself up. There's no need for a shower – he'll soak in his tub at home. He starts gathering his few belongings, packing them in the suitcase that's been buried in the back of the closet for three months. He's leaving with more than he brought, but Blaine is insistent that he keeps the things bought during his time here. Kurt acquiesces, but he'll never use them, never wear them. The new coat that fits him like it was made just for his body will go to the back of the closet. It's part of Blaine and Kurt desperately needs to distance himself from that, no matter how nice these last days have been.

Blaine hovers, always close, watching.

When he's done packing, Kurt places the suitcase in the hall.

"Is Thad coming?"

"He'll be here soon."

It's awkward. Blaine is fidgety and Kurt has never been more calm. Kurt wanders out to the couch, if only to get out of the bedroom. Blaine sits close, holding Kurt's hand and tracing along the lines.

"You know you could stay. We could be happy. You'd never want for anything."

Kurt knew there would be last minute convincing. Blaine was nothing if not persistent.

"I want to go home, Blaine."

"We just need more time. Just you and me – we could go away. Or just go home for a little while and come back to me."

"You know I can't."

"Why?"

"Because of this life. You can never leave it and I would never survive it."

There's a long pause and Kurt almost misses the whispered words.

"I'm sorry."

It surprises Kurt how much those two words affect him. Blaine has never apologized for anything. And saying it now, he sounds so small.

"It's like there's a war inside me. I want so badly to be good. I just can't."

Kurt squeezes his hand, drawing his attention up and the look in his eyes is heartbreaking.

Blaine cups Kurt's face with both hands and presses their foreheads together.

"I love you."

Kurt squeezes his eyes shut. He needs to go, he can't handle this.

"Tell me you love me too." Blaine's voice cracks, half of the sentence coming in a whisper.

"I can say the words, but you know I won't mean them."

"I don't care. Just say them."

Kurt brings his hands up to Blaine's face. "I love you too."

He feels the warm tears on Blaine's cheeks.

A soft knock at the door gives him his escape. "I have to go."

Blaine nods and pulls his hands back.

"Just one more thing…" Kurt half expects a threat or even pleading. "Was there any part of our time together that you were happy?"

Blaine is looking at him so earnestly and Kurt takes a moment to actually think about it. And that's what makes the dam break for Kurt, tears falling before he can stop them.

He nods his head.

And maybe that makes him crazy or stupid or fucked up beyond belief, but there were moments that he _was_ happy.

Blaine gives him a sad smile and then looks down again.

Kurt puts distance between them, opening the door for Thad who grabs the suitcase from the hallway. He makes one more sweep through the bathroom and bedroom to see if he's forgotten anything – there's no coming back.

He's caught off guard by the unfamiliar sound at first, so used to the quiet apartment.

As he walks out of the bedroom, he sees Blaine sitting with his back to him playing the piano. Kurt had meant to ask him so many times why he had such a beautiful thing that he never used.

Each note flows seamlessly into the next, a morose melody that he doesn't recognize. In that moment, Kurt is thankful for this small glimpse. He makes his way to the door and looks back. This is what he will allow himself to remember - a talented young man playing with such emotion, feeling every sound.

He can see just a hint of Blaine's face from this angle, very much raw and vulnerable.

Kurt can't help but think maybe he's not the one that's broken.

...

He keeps his eyes dry on the way home – knows his dad will pester him with questions if he shows up looking a mess.

Thad carries his suitcase up the steps to the front door. Part of Kurt wants to give the man a hug, but he doesn't. They regard each other for a moment and then Thad nods at him just once before turning back to the car. Kurt doesn't wait for the car to pull away before walking inside.

His dad is lounging in the recliner and the sight makes Kurt tear up with happiness.

"Hey kiddo. We were won- what's wrong?"

Kurt leans down over his dad, hugging him tighter than he should.

"I'm just so happy you're here." In this chair, in this home, in this world.

Tight arms wrap around him and his dad stays quiet. Kurt knows his dad is emotional about it too. He'd likely spent the last three days thinking about how close he came to dying and how that affected Kurt.

Kurt pulls back, pretending not to notice when his dad wipes at his eyes.

"Well your aunt is making some casserole for dinner. She said she's trying to put some meat back on my bones and I ain't gonna lie – I never thought I'd hear someone tell me that."

"We've got a lot to work on to get you back where you need to be."

His dad nods and fiddles with the remote.

"I'm just going to take my stuff upstairs and get settled in – maybe take a bath and relax."

"Yah, yah, of course."

Kurt's almost to the stairs when his father's words draw him back.

"You think Blaine will be coming over for Christmas dinner?"

Kurt clears his throat, pushing away the emotion threatening to rise. "I don't think he can make it."

Burt nods and turns back to the TV.

One day, he'll tell his dad the truth – or at least parts of it.

...

Christmas is wonderful.

Kurt cleaned out the meager funds remaining in his bank account and bought his dad some new clothes since none of the old ones fit anymore.

Both he and his aunt are working hard to get to know one another after years spent separated by both distance and beliefs. They take a step in the right direction as they both break into a fit of giggles when the realization hits them that they bought each other very similar scarves. Maybe they have more in common than Kurt thought – good taste says a lot about a person.

It seems like everything changes. Blaine's men are gone from the shop as promised and Kurt is glad when his dad promotes Felix to help manage things. His dad can do a lot, but he's still a long way from being recovered enough to return to running things fully.

Kurt looks for a part-time job to help with bills, but wants to make sure he still has time to take care of his father. Maybe he'll go back and finish school in the fall. It's hard to think too far in the future.

It's taken him days to get to, but he's finally emptying the rest of his suitcase – all of the clothes Blaine bought for him. He's decided to sell them to an upscale consignment shop. The extra funds will come in handy.

Taking stock of everything, he finds an envelope in one of the pockets of the jacket. It causes his heart to stop for a second, his name scribbled across the front.

He puts it on his dresser, not ready to deal with it.

He's only able to avoid it for a day before he feels drawn to it, sitting at his vanity to finally open it. In this technological age, Kurt can't remember ever receiving a handwritten letter.

It takes a minute to focus, the words becoming more than just a blur.

_Kurt:_

_Tomorrow will be our last day together. I want to ask you to stay, but I'm not sure I have the courage to. I know you'll say no. Maybe it takes more courage to let you go. I've never been good at that – never been good at goodbye._

_That day when I first met your father, he told me you were someone special. And that you deserved someone equally as special. You've had more than your share of pain and loss. He made me promise to always protect you. I make a lot of promises… most of them get broken. This is one I really want to keep, but you being here with me will only end badly. I will hurt you. I don't know how not to._

_I've never had someone like you in my life – I don't know how to handle something precious._

_So, this is my goodbye with a small Christmas gift enclosed. It was my mother's. Please don't throw it away and please don't send it back. Everything good in me is because of her. Maybe you'll look at this and try to remember that I'm not a monster. I just somehow got lost along the way and by the time I realized it – I didn't want to be found._

_I wanted more than anything for you to love me even though I am completely undeserving of it._

_I want you to be happy._

_Blaine_

He pulls the necklace out of the envelope and holds it up. It's a simple locket with the letter 'A' engraved on the outside. Kurt opens it carefully to find a picture of a woman and a young boy - not more than four or five years old. They have matching smiles from ear to ear and Kurt doesn't have to guess who they are. Blaine's mother is stunning.

Kurt feels a surge of emotion. The letter was a lot to take in, but it seemed like the final string holding him to Blaine was released by reading it. Holding the locket, Kurt can't help but think of his own mother and losing her when he was not much older than Blaine in the picture.

He closes his eyes and holds the locket to his chest and thinks '_this_.' _This_ represents someone good, someone kind, someone Kurt easily could have loved. _This_ is the boy at the piano.

He pulls open one of the drawers in his vanity and puts the locket in a small silk pouch, pushing it to the back behind his other things.

One day soon, Kurt will have to deal with the aftermath of all of this. Then, maybe he won't emotionally default to crying when he thinks of Blaine, torn between fearing him and caring about him.

His unseen wounds will heal and he'll feel comfortable in his own skin again.

All he needs is time.

...


	11. Epilogue

**Epilogue - Blaine POV**

They say time heals all wounds, but they don't tell you how long you'll have to wait. A lot of days have passed – a lot of time. Some wounds just refuse to heal.

It wasn't hard to get in to the little party. Blaine has more connections than he can count and something this small hardly requires calling in a big favor.

He's stayed away for so long and it was harder than he'll ever admit. But tonight, he's here for one reason: Kurt. It's selfish of him, he knows, but he doesn't care. He needs this and Blaine never _needs_ anything or anyone.

The nervous feeling strumming through him is almost overwhelming, though he'll never let it show.

So when the man of the hour walks in, Blaine keeps his eyes locked – follows him as he flits around the room. Kurt is still all long limbs and pale skin. It hurts to look, but Blaine can't turn away.

It takes longer for Kurt to see him – busy making the rounds, shaking hands, and being congratulated. This party is for him after all. Laughter bubbles out of him and he looks to the side. Blaine can see the immediate realization on Kurt's face. It hurts a little to see the smile fade so quickly, replaced by worry and fear.

Kurt scans the room for someone, something. Blaine follows his gaze to see Burt, obviously just noticing his presence at the soiree. It doesn't surprise him when the man makes a beeline in his direction. Burt doesn't look mad – he looks disappointed and conflicted.

From the way he stares at Blaine, Burt must know some of the truth now. There's no anger in his expression though. Distrust is there obviously, but he looks every bit the concerned father. Blaine wishes that his father had looked at him like that – if only just once.

"You shouldn't be here."

"That's probably true, sir."

"Just leave him alone."

"I'm not here to cause any problems."

And then Kurt is there, one hand on his dad's shoulder. "It's okay, dad."

When Blaine looks back at Burt, he's watching Kurt, sadness and regret filling his face. It's there for only a moment before he glares at Blaine and walks off.

Staring at Kurt now, Blaine is sure he's still the most beautiful man he's ever seen.

"Blaine…"

And that voice. It was definitely a mistake to come, but it's one he would make over and over again.

"Congratulations on your collection. I always knew you'd do something amazing."

Kurt has an unreadable look on his face. "Well, I'm not exactly Marc Jacobs yet, but I guess dressing one famous celebrity certainly gives you enough of a boost to get yourself out there."

"Yes, the Oscar dress was stunning."

"I got lucky, I suppose. Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to congratulate you in person."

Kurt studies him for a long time – like he's trying to solve a puzzle and the pieces don't quite match up.

"How are you, Blaine?"

"Never better."

"I heard about Cooper."

"Yah, well, he's doing his time."

"You look tired." He _was_ tired. Things had been rough since Cooper went to prison. A lot of things had changed – everything seemed to get harder.

"You still look beautiful."

"Blaine…"

"I've been waiting three years to say that."

"I should go."

Blaine nods with a sad smile. "Enjoy your party."

Kurt turns, but only makes it two steps before he swings back around.

"Blaine—there's something I need to ask you."

"Anything."

Kurt's eye color changes with his emotion and Blaine is transfixed.

"Why did you let me go when you could have easily made me to stay?"

It's not a question Blaine is expecting, but the answer is simple. "Because you never would've been truly happy. And that's all I want for you."

Kurt nods, eyes downcast.

Blaine can't tell him just how close he came to forcing him to stay – how many times after he'd left that Wes had to talk him out of dragging Kurt back.

"You told your father the truth?"

"Most of it."

"Why?"

"Because he loves me and knows when I'm hurting. He needed to know in order to help me and I needed to tell him in order to heal."

"I'm glad he was there for you."

The air between them is awkward.

"I should really go."

"Kurt… I'm really happy for everything that's coming to you. You deserve only the best."

"Thank you."

Blaine wants to reach out, but he knows better. He has no right to touch Kurt.

Kurt walks away hesitantly, looking back several times like there's something left unsaid.

It takes a lot for Blaine to keep from grabbing him and leaving. He wants to take Kurt away, keep him close. But he doesn't. Instead he'll recede to the background, helping from behind the scenes. He wonders if Kurt would be thankful to know everything Blaine has done for him. Maybe it would win him over.

It would be so easy to tell him – that scholarship when he returned to school, the internship with one of his favorite designers, a name dropped into the ear of someone famous.

But the reality of it is, that knowledge would only make Kurt doubt himself. Blaine may have given him a boost, but Kurt was the one that studied his butt off in school and aced that interview for his internship. And famous people get told about designers all the time – this one just happened to fall in love with Kurt's work.

He didn't come here for that though. He hasn't _done_ all of it for that. Kurt's the first person in his life, aside from his mother, that Blaine's ever really loved.

And as hard as it is to accept, Kurt will never be a part of his life again. Blaine still feels like he owes him. Kurt was destined for great things and Blaine only wants to ease the way. This is his penance. He'll spend the rest of his life making it up to Kurt. And for once, he doesn't want the credit.

So he finishes his drink and looks for Wes and David. He locks eyes with Kurt one last time, smiling his goodbye. When Kurt smiles back, Blaine knows he did the right thing for once in his life.

It feels good.

...

a/n - thank you so much for reading and reviewing. On to find the next prompt ;)


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